Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Pressies part 2

The book list goes on...Felt by Robyn Steel-Stickland, Compassionate Knitting by Tara Jon Manning, Home Knits by suss Cousins, and Oddball Knitting by Barbara Albright. I also got a Krups spice Grinder and a Cuisinart stick blender with chopping attachment. I said it already and I will say it again, Amazon wish list is a thing of beauty and every blogger should have one.

I also got a recycled gift from eb. A series of sturdy nesting boxes. I love them. They are cubes and inside was a heart of wrapping paper saying she loves me. The boxes were from a gift she got at work from Dee, one of her reps. They will likely become some fabulous altered collage art. Likely.

Today, I am off to the mall with Connor who has $200 burning a hole in his pocket. I have a pedicure appointment at 11, and he will shop. And shop. At some point we iwll go to Costco as we need water and Pepsi. Might even go to the yarn shop as I got a check from my mom for $50 which is just enough for a set of Denise knitting needles.I might see if they have a set I can try first to be sure I like them, but if not, I might get them anyway and then take a pic for my mom of what she got me.

The mall beckons.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Xmas time is here...

Did you hear me snoring? That was right before my phone rang at 8 am. I was just getting back to sleep, you know, that morning sleep after you were up at 5 to pee and at 630 with the dogs. The sleep when you have all sorts of weird and profound dreams. I was really looking forward to it after so many early and late work shifts this past week. And the damn phone rang.

I looked to see who was calling and had already ruled out my mom having just spoke to her yesterday. It read Willie's cell. He is at work this morning at the Lake Placid Hilton busy preparing the holiday buffet feast. Why would he be calling in the middle of his saute and roast?

Well, the call is from his cell, but not from him. It was from the kindly gentleman who found Willie's phone at the Whiteface Lodge. He's leaving it at the reception desk there to be picked up and called to tell me because I was listed as Mom. Nice.
Thanks Mr Skier Man on Vacation!!

So I called my mom in case the need to pick up and deliver the grandson's phone to him might in a weird twist of logic sort of way get my dad to take her to the holiday buffet feast for lunch today. Said mom, "Not for $26 each! But maybe your father will feel like a ride this morning. I will ask him when he gets up."

This was news. My dad has always gotten up at 5 am. No alarm, just conditioning. And 9 am their time and he isn't up? At 79 he is finally sleeping in. Good for you, pop.

Since I am up, I just made some deviled eggs, and I put the baked French Toast in the oven. Think bread pudding for breakfast and you're on the mark. I need to fry up some bacon and sauasage. Then a little later on I will get out the Brie wheel covered in fig spread and Marcona almonds. Then at some point there will be a chicken roasting in the oven nestled in broccoli. And finally some shrimp pan fried dumplings with buttery slices of filet mignon.

We began opening some pressies last night. My tally so far includes Mindful Knitting by Tara Jon Manning, Knit Two Together by Tracy Ullman and someone else, Night Vision by Ellen Hart, and season two of Babylon 5. Amazon wish list is a thing of beauty. Eveyone should have one.

Time to fry, maybe more later...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

552AM xmas eve...

Note to self. No more volunteering. I could be happily still asleep, but noooooooo...I had to volunteer to work for one of the other receptionists.

Actually, I don't feel bad about that, it was a nice thing to do as she has small kids, 2 of them autistic, ao she should be home this morning with them making holiday preparations with and for them.

Right now, however, I wager she is asleep. Fucker.

It's rainig out right now. Sucky. I have to park on three today and it's not covered. But the benefit of working 7-1 is that the parking will be relatively close to the elevator. And I do have an umbrella in the car that I hate using. IT is just inconvenient. But I work in a deep freeze and I don't want to be wet or even damp. I think I might finish my hair at work today.


Friday, December 22, 2006

Of course he is taller than me...

I spent a couple hours knitting at the airport last night. Well, not knitting the whole time, and part of that time frame was the driving, but it was a longer than expected trip as ones to the airport often are.

I left work at three full of anticipation for seeing my youngest, now 16, who did not make it here this summer, so xmas last year was the last I saw of him. His flight was due in at 509 and the airport, on a good day, is about 40 minutes away, so really, I had allowed plenty of time and I would rather sit and knit and be early, than have him have to wait on me as he does enough waiting on his sorryassmotherfucker of a father.

The two minute drive from the mall to the beltway onramp took 37 minutes. Can anyone say fucking holiday traffic sucks? Once I hit the beltway, which I thought would be the worst of the traffic, it was a straight shot through at about 70 miles an hour pausing just for three toll plazas which were not at all backed up. The biggest toll plaza has been modified since my last use of Beltway 8 and is decidedly more EZ Tag friendly and one of these days I must get a round to getting one of those. I arrived at the air port at about 430 and figured by the time I checked the momnitors, I would have little time to knit.

The 509 flight was delayed and was scheduled for 545. Not too bad. I sat down in baggage claim because it was quiet and that is where there were seats. This is a small airport. Why don't they get that people who need to meet someone inside might want to sit? There is plenty of seating at the gate and for ticketed passengers, that is just lovely. With the new security measures, ok, not so new, that is of no help. There were easily 50 people hanging around the security checkpoint at the end of the concourse where my boy would be coming from. The baggage area is just around the corner and down the escalator from there and there is new seating down there. Airport planning and management is on crack.

So I sat down in the peaceful but cold airport baggage area and knit. I was up at 5 to work at 7, so the knitting also made me need to rest my eyes. Just for a minute. Really. I did actually get some knitting done. At 545, I went and checked the monitor and the flight had scrolled off so it had arrived. I went upstairs and waited for my boy. I was figuring 6 ft tall by now and watching all the people streaming through.

There was a young black boy of a bout 5 wearing a cute little leather bomber jacket, a look that took me back, but, no, not my boy. There were many young men who could have fit the bill, most of them older, a few in suits, but none of them mine.

At 610 I called my boy. I figured if he was here, his phone would be back on and maybe I missed him, so even though missing him was not really possible I asked:

Me: Where are you?
C: Atlanta.
Me: Excuse me?There was a delay.
pause in a WTF sort of way
Me: Liar.
C: AAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA..gotcha. I am at the gate not off the plane yet.
Me: Okay see you soon, love you.
C: Muah.

That little fucker did not miss a beat in this conversation. When he walked through the gate and hugged me, his bony little self was crushing me. He misses his mamaa so. I am sure I will be ready to strangle him in short order. Oh wait, he used all the minutes last month and then had $500+ in cell charges. I am already ready to strangle him.

Off to work.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Max and Anna

This was my first attempt using transparencies for photos. My dad took this pic about 50 years ago and it is of his parents. I recently came into possession of about 2000 of his 4 inch negatives from back in the day and this is first in a series. Nice bonus that it sold.

I first made a black and white transparency. Then the transparency is coated front and back with matte Mod Podge. Sections were painted with craft paint then cut oout and modpodged to a piece of tin. The background is a piece of chinese paper I found in Santa Fe. I wanted to add clock works to the top right, but ran out of time. It is whatever it was supposed to be because hey, it SOLD!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Damn, but I make some good onion dip!

Tomorrow is our holiday potluck at work. There are 29 of us and several nationalities and ethnicities are represented, so we usually have quite a good spread going on. There has even been custome participation in the past, so really, the unexpected should be expected.

Dianne will bring her spinach dip, Miriam will make a huge ham and cheese empanada which she then cuts into little sandwiches, and I know someone is making queso. The boss is making a ham and bringing some other stuff as well, and I imagine someone will fess up with plates or something equally lame.

We all, well, almost all, kicked in $5 and I went today and picked up a gift card for the boss to Perry's Steakhouse & Grill. There is a new location recently opened at our mall, and it is divine.

So yes, I am bringing onion dip. This morning, I was pan frying the onions and they were smelling so good. I just wanted to dig into them with a fork as they sat on the plate cooling slightly. I made a double batch of dip thinking that half would go to work, and half would be for the 3rd Annual White Trash Xmas Buffet which is at our house on Sunday.

I worked 3-11 tonight and for my dinner break, I drove around to the front of the mall to get the gift card for Perry's. As it is the holiday season, it took most of my break to accomplish this. I decided that dinner would be a grande Chai from Starbucks, and stopped in there on my way back around to the other side of the mall.

OF course I knew that I would be putting dip into a container so it is ready to bring to work tomorrow. I also felt a certain responsibility to taste it and make sure it was just right. Also, to make sure noone would be keeling over tomorrow from food poisoning. My coworkers health is at the forefront of my thoughts. Really.

The dip is awesome, and hey, I am hungry. And there isn't exactly enought to save for WTXB3 and I will have to make more anyway. So in I dig. Yumm.

Queenmaxine's Awesome Onion Dip

8 oz block cream cheese
i cup sour cream
1 cup mayo
2 large onions diced small
I tbs butter
s + p to taste

In a saute pan over medium high heat, melt the butter and add the onions and some s + P. Saute the onions until they are a rich golden brown. The darker you can get the onions, the more flavorful the dip will be, bubt be careful to not scorch or burn. No black crispy onions! Set aside to cool slightly.

The other ingredients should be at room temperature. The cream cheese is really the important one as far as it needing to be softened to room temperature. If you forget to take it out or are just not too patient, break it up and nuke it for 30 seconds. Then blent it on high with electric beaters. Once it is creamy, add the mayo and sour cream, mixing the three together until the ingredients are nicely smooth and homo-genous.

Once the onions have cooled slightly, add them to the mix and stir thoroughly to combine. Cover and refrigerate at least a couple of hours. Once you taste it, it is indanger of not making it to its final destination, so buy double ingredients to begin with!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Time flies...

Lest anyone label me a total slacker, I have updated Sub Rosa Online. Who's still in?

allow me to brace your descent with my breast

eb leans in to bid me farewell with a kiss and i say it and she says to write it down and since i am online and it is easiest, i write it here not necessarily to share with y'all, but out of convenience. bon jour.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


Lilli Munster and I were just outside and there is frost on the ground. Frost. That is just plain wrong. She is out there like a little bouncing toy shivering away trying to find a spot to poo. W.R.O.N.G.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A cold front blowing in?

Ten minutes ago or so, I went outside with the dogs and there was little discernable difference in temperature from inside. It was definitely more humid, and perhaps even a bit warmer. I was just outside again (Lilli Munster likes me to go with her and usually won't go out without me unless I leave the door open) and it has dropped at least 20 degrees.

Five minutes later, eb leaves for work, and she poked her head back inside to say, "Okay, it's fucking cold out here now..."

So for the next few days in Houston, it's winter. Pay attention so you don't miss it.

Friday, November 24, 2006

T-day almost over

I appreciate it is Friday, so T-day is over, but in a sense, it won't be over until the debt is collected. What debt? EB told me that Thomas wanted to spend the day with us, which really, given the family dynamics all around, is a no brainer. At their request, we had a simple supper of pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, and ginger nd honey glazed carrots. I was going to bake a sour cream pound cake, but the tube pan has gone AWOL. If anyone knows where eb stashed it, please drop her a reminder email.

So the debt...eb also told me Thomas would like nothing more than to hang out and watch football. He has a tv in his room and can watch whatever he wants at any time, but I knew that the whole holiday vibe for him hinges on hanging out with his mom. I have an aversion to football blasting on the tv for the entire holiday. In fact, let's put it out there, if no sports were ever viewed on our tv on any day, ever again, I would lose less than zero sleep over it. I understand if the family came about watching sports together, but mine did not. You went to Aunt Patty's on the holiday and had a visit. Now eb and T and I, we visit on a quite regular basis. I still managed to hold the tv hostage. I told eb that everything has a price.

My car is pretty clean. When it was in the shop last month for some body work, it came back nicely detailed. It does, however, need a bath. This was the price for football on Thanksgiving, I wanted to give thanks for a clean car. I less than jokingly suggested it was such a lovely day, that the car could be washed before the game came on. I should have stuck to my guns. T has fled and eb is resting in bed trying to shake the crud she is suffering. I know it will be done eventually,

So last night, we watched LOTR again, and I planned an early night because I had to work early. We watched ER and then I went to bed. It was too early for sleep and I should have known better but I gave it a try. The alarm went off at 3:20 AM. Insanity. I had to work at 5. The upside of that is than I was off at noon.

I then suggested we go to lunch and we then did a little shopping. We went to a yarn shop that seems to be closed when I am off otherwise, and we then hit a few other places on the same street. Then we stopped at the other yarn store to pick up a special order that arrived. Then, once home, I hit the bed and took a much needed nap.

At 6 I was awake again, and now I am snuggled in with the tv.

Lilli Munster wants to play.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

With confidence!

I wish I could remember precisely what Dr. D asked me this morning. What were his exact words? I am not sure what he asked, but the gist of it was to do with passing gas. Dr. D works at the Digestive Disease Center and he is the latest in my string of docs there, and the third I have seen there since my primary referred me about a year and a half ago.

I was answering the questions of the follow up from a visit 7 weeks ago. Are you better? How are you tolerating the meds, etc and the gas passing came up. As we were finishing up, the doc said he wanted me back for follow up in 6-8 weeks. The nurse had previously discussed with me that it would be good to come for a consult/check up every six months whether my disease was active or not as Crohn's is a progressive disease and small changes indicate certain stages, so consulting even if evrything seems the same or normal is a good plan.

Dr. D told me that until I was passing gas with confidence, I would be in every 6-8 weeks. That is the minimum standard of wellness I should expect, passing gas, with confidence.

It's a thing of beauty.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

You look agitated...

I paused when Kia sadi this to me when she came into work tonight. Then after a moment of replection I answered "yes!"

I am not quite sure why I am agitated. I just had two days off so I should have been something less than agitated, but not so. I don't feel agitated other than at work, so it must have something to do with my tolerance being maximized in an undesirable way. Too bad I am not going on the Carribean Yarn Cruise this spring. That might buy me some tolerance.

Perhaps it is nothing more than the prospect of working at 5 AM on Friday.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I need to be careful

A few years ago, there was an unfortunate incident. Dear Sweet Elizabeth, who is so damn fine she walks on water, was going to the grocery store. She asked me if I wanted anything. Pork roll. I wanted pork roll.

I explained to DSE in great detail exactly where the pork roll was. The problem arose in that she went to a different store. Supposedly, I gave her the look that is reserved mostly for my wasband, on occasion for my children, for various dumbshits I might encounter otherwise, but never for someone so Dear and Sweet (who is so damn fine she walks on water) as Elizabeth.

So this week at work, my boss is trying to understand the new set plan for salon merchandise. Our front shelves are configured as 10 columns with a 3/7 split left and right. More precisely, a 3/3,2,2 right split.

The new set plan calls for a 3/2,5 configuration. Please note, this still adds up to 10 columns. Where we have on the right a 3, 2, 2, the plan requires a 2, 5. Can we change our existing shelving? No, absolutely not. Are the more than 1000 existing JCP salons even remotely close to the new requested configuration? Fuck, no. Does someone at corporate have a vision problem? Likely.

So my boss, whom I respect and admire greatly, just isn't getting the necessity of adapting the 2, 5 to fit out 3, 2, 2 shelving. I gave her the look, but thankfully, she did not see it. If she did see it, she totally ignored it. She stretched the 3 out to a 2 which left a 4, not a 5. I tried really hard all day, to consciously refrain from giving her the look. Luckily, it has been aone person job with her asking for help from a stylist who was not particularly busy this week.

It took a lot of effort to not go adjust it all after she left. Tomorrow, she is off and I will be enough over it to not give it another thought past hitting the publish button.

In other news, I am a working (paid) artist!!

There was something else, but DSE has just returned from suburbia.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Do I like it?

I don't think so...I just left work at 6 pm for the first time since the time change. It was dark outside. I am not sure which is worse, going in in the morning at 7 and it being dark out (before the time change), or leaving at 6 and it being dark out (after). Perhaps it is just bad having to go to work at all.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Time change

It's really already after 9, so when I was up with Lilli Munster at 630, it was really 730, late actually for the morning routine. Early for Sunday. But awake, I am, nonetheless. Early, too, considering we were ending the season four binge at 145 a.m., which only 15 minutes later was officially an hour earlier.

So now we have to wait. for Season 5 to grace out debit card with its presence. It will happen. I am not sure it is available yet as I have not seen it for sale anywhere, but if Santa can bring it, I am certain he will, and if he can get his hands on it before xmas, we will be watching it. I am not so sure I would be as hooked if I had to watch this weekly and with commercials. Watching it on DVD is brilliant and compelling.

I am also knitting the loveliest soft 100% Fine Merino Wool. It is made in Italy be di.ve and is called Autunno. The color combination ranges from black and green to black and pink, all skillfully spun in a single ply worsted weight with shifting hues that produce a self striping garment. I am ennamored, can you tell? I am making legwarmers for my hairdresser,a;ll the while letting my brain spin out of control about what I can make for myself with this. I might post ap ic later of the work in progress. I might not.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The Universe: A Minor Redesign

For the sake of time and convenience, I stopped on the way hom at the Kroger we hate rather than going to the Randall's we like. It was a pleasant experiennce.


I need an iTunes Tutor

Last night I was ot online as the wireless had dropped. I did not need to be online. All I wanted to do was rip and play a few CDs. The latest version of iTunes is fucking with me. Either that, or I am just not bright enough to be on a Mac. I finally found the feature to disable the MAc from retrieving info about the cd from the internet, and then I rebooted. In fact, I had to do a hard shut down three times as iTunes kept getting hung. Even after turning off the get info feature, I still could not rip or listen to music.

This morning. Dear Sweet Elizabeth fixed the wireless. I opened up my laptop. I inserted the same CDs I wanted to rip last night. Zippadeedoodah. No issues. Well, Some of this music is a little twangy for me, but otherwise, no issues.

My other dilemma, Somw of my letters are beginning to chip away on my keyboard. I will soon have a jacked up looking keyboard with sharpie letters all over the place. Nice.

Friday, October 20, 2006

And, I'm off...again

Yes I just had a full week off in September. And 10 days in October. But as I have been telling you, PTO is a beautiful thing. I am off again until Wednesday. Yippee. It will most certainly be doing something to adjust the week I just had or if not, maybe get my attitude adjusted for the holiday push which we are already into.

Thursday the 12th sucks balls. On Thursday the 12th, I rearended the car in front of me when my foot slipped off the brake. First appearances indicated minor fender bender damage all around, however my car is currently in the shop needing a tear down before an estimate can be done. Physically, all involved were okay however, my seatbelt left me a lovely deep dark bruise across my right breast.

I suppose that is the worst of my week and I am glad that everyone is ok. No more on this topic as it is done. Finally. Or done until I know the damage to my car and get it back in one piece.

So today we are off to Austin for their art car parade. We are due back tomorrow, but I am off til Wednesday. Ahhhhh. Wednesday...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

And we're home...

Taos was really lovely. When we return to New Mexico, it will most certainly be to Taos. I think maybe even a ski vacation might be in order. Anyone game?

On the way home from the airport, we stopped to pick up the girls. Lilli Munster was so glad to see me she promptly peed all over my left breast in her excitement, and really, I put her down right away so I am not sure how she had the chance. We walked to the grass and she peed there, too, so the first one on me was really just happy water.

We got home and everyone was reunited, and for a minute, I think Sawyer was even glad to have the girls home. He was certainly glad to have us home and I even got a kiss from him. He is not at all a kissing dog so when he gives one up, it is a cherished pearl of wisdom.

My yarn suitcase is bursting at the seams and looks ready to pop. I got the little felted balls that I bought for the dogs out, and I need to go fish in one of the pockets for the cord for my phone, but I am afraid that if I crack the zipper, that might be all it takes.

I am glad I planned a slug day into my vacation upon our return. Now it is time to do just that.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Baby, are you okay?

When did eb ask me this? Well, several times over the last couple of days.

Elevation is not something I give a lot of thought to. I grew up in the Adirondack mountains and have climbed many of the regions' high peaks. I really take mountain scenery for granted, but don't mind driving around in it to satisfy eb's desire for more of it. If it pleases her, I like it just fine. And let's not forget, I can deny her nothing.

I grew up mostly outside Lake Placid, NY at the base of Whiteface, the Olympic mountain whose base elevation is 1220 feet. The summit is 4650 feet and whether skiing the mountain or hiking it with friends or as a guide, I was at the summit at least half the year on a daily basis. No elevation drama.

Please take this moment to recall that for the past eight years, I have lived in Houston, TX with eb at an elevation of 0 - 310 feet. sea level at its best.

When we were settled into Placitas, NM, I had brief mooments of feeling winded. Nothing I really noticed much at the time, but looking back, I can see that it all started there, just mildly. Walking around, I would occasionally find myself reverting to a mouth breather (yogi Kathryn says mouths are for eating and kissing only)and I attributed this more to the dryness or sinus congestion rather than to elevation. I also considered that vacation might have packed on a few extra pounds, but I really have not overindulged at all and of course prefer being in denial about this possibility.

So here we are in Taos. Taos has an elevation of 6950 feet. Right away upon arriving I felt an unpleasant tightening in my chest. Am I having a heart attack? 6950 seems to be the magic number. I brought a suitcase from the car to the room we are in. We are basically parked right outside the door, and I was so winded that when I stopped to kiss eb, I had to ask her to give me a second to catch my breath. "Baby, are you okay?"

Every time I roll over in bed, I get winded. Every time I reach for my seatbelt, I get winded. Twist a little for an extended moment, here comes that heart attack again.

Yesterday, after the rainy wool festival, we drove about 5 miles to a lovely grge bridge and then 5 miles in the other direction to a small town, Arroyo Seco, which has the finest yarn shop and a cafe recommended by our host, Richard. His picks have been spot on. After the yarn shop orgy, eb needed some scenic driving. Instead of turning right to go back the way we came, she turned left to see what we might be missing.

Left took us on a really nice scenic drive through Carson National Forest. At one point there is a dead end sign, but it does not say how far til the dead end. The dead end is Taos Valley Ski area whose base elevation is 9207 feet. Oh. My. God. I am glad there was nothing to do or see once we were up there because any exertion there, surely would have resulted in some dire tragedy.

All in all, I think I am getting more used to the Taos elevation, and tomorrow we will be back hoome to our dear humid sea level. When are we going on that Himilaya adventure?

The harvest moon is fucking with the rooster.

In case the time stamp on this post is el wrongo, let me state for the record, it iis 230 in the fucking morning. It is indeed lovely to have farm fresh eggs in the morning right from the nest, and both of the places we have stayed this trip have free range organic chickens, but the cost of that might just be the harvest moon fucking with the rooster.

EB asked me yesterday morning if I heard the rooster. I did not, but in his defense, I think he crowed at the normal hour and maybe only once. This morning, not so. He started sometime in the recent past and again in his defense, I was already lying in bed awake. As was eb. And all we could do was snicker and laugh. Out loud. Until I declared I was awake enough to get up anyway.

Today is the last full day away from home, and with a 230 start, we are in business.

Yesterday was the Taos Sheep and Wool Festival and my shopping might be considered by some to be extreme. Suffice it to say, I owe eb a full day of scenic driving and then some. Pics will follow once we are home.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Still in Santa Fe and heading to Taos in the morning. We are at a cool store called Travel Bug at the moment. I found eb here drinking on the patio while I was down the strip in a yarn store. Much more upon our return, and just to warn y'all, eb's memory card on the camera is f.u.l.l.


Monday, October 02, 2006


I shouldn't have looked...really...I should have just let it be...during this drawing close toward the end of the jcp calendar year when I am really trying hard to use rather than lose any pto...I checked to see what my pre-vaca total is...to see that yes, it is 123 as I discussed with hr on Friday...using this many hours here, and this many there, yes that takes me to 36.9...exactly what I can carry over to next year...Well dontcha know yesterday was the first of the omnth and I now have 140.3 hours...which means more jockeying of schedules...I think it might mean I need to take a week in November...It's not like I have been hoarding it all year, I have taken a 60 hours or so already...my boss might not be pleased...pto is a beautiful thing...

Soon, we'll be in the air...

I have had since 4 pm on Saturday to decompress. I think it has been a success. I just packed and all that is left to do is get my sorry on vacation ass into the shower so I can then pack toiletries and I will be ready to get in the car and head to the airport. With eb, of course, to parts unknown. Taos Wool Festival, here we come.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Oh, woe is she...

Poor, poor eb...

She has just left to go to her sister's house to babysit the nephews for a couple of hours. She. Just. Doesn't. Want. To. Go.

Her plan was to stop and get a bottle of wine, but she ran out of time, sorta. I told her to just open a bottle of her sister's wine. She said, "Well........."

So then, in my infinite wisdom, I told her that worse case scenario, she opens a bottle and it becomes an issue, and then she wouldn't be asked back to babysit.

Maybe she will be smart enough to open two.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


And I am done. I have just completed the nasty ass 12 hours of continuing education requirement to renew my cosmetology license. I should be thaqnkful that it was in the form of an online self paced course and I managed to do it for $45 rather than hundreds for an in the classroom course, but honestly, I totally resent it.

The course was so half assed. I can't believe that someone in the licensing office in TX actually read through the material or sat through it at least once. There is nno way. I found so many errors in it, not in the material itself, but in the way it was presented. The pages were individually timed so as to record progress and insure 12 hours of attendance, yet I was done reading the two paragraphs per page in half the time so really I only got 6 hours of material. Then there were pages where the text ended with a comma or some other pause, only yo be a new topic on the next page. And content? 90% of the content is focused toward the small salon owner/employee. and 50% of it pertained to nails, and maybe 25% to skincare. An entire hour on marketing. What the fuck does that have to do with me needing to renew my hair license?

Poorly executed all around, but I have my trusty little certificate of completion to mail off tomorrow.

That and 19.5 more hours in the work week. Thank you, little baby jesus.

Monday, September 25, 2006

35 work hours and counting...

One more week of work stands between me and vacation. I hope there is nothing diabolical in the next week that freezes time or grants me my own personal Ground Hog Day a la Bill Murr(ay?). That would be tragic and I think I'd not be able to endure.

As it is this morning, I am awake and ready to attack the day. It will be a trying week because my boss is off today and Wednesday and on Thursday I will see her less than an hour. I think Friday and Saturday she is there normal days, but whenever she is out, people get a little crazy. It is like they need to find something to get away with and they never really do because one of their other coworkers usually tells on them. I am sure they think it is me tattling, but I reserve that for things that are truly important, either ethical or safety issues, and even then, my boss has usually already heard of it. I will be delighted to be away from it all for 10 days.

After the 10 days, I think I am back a week and a half and then taking another 5 days off. PTO is a wonderful thing. I think I might even need to take a week in November. i have a kajillion hours and I can only carry over 36 of them to next year. I. Will. Not. Lose. Any. Most of my coworkers are whiney about me taking excess vacation. Jealousy is so unattractive.

Time for the grind.

Friday, September 22, 2006

I will not scratch my foot today...repeat...

Right on the top of my foot is the remnants of a bite I got at the last watering hole we visited on the Great Watering Holes of TX Tour '06. As soon as I was back in the car I was scratching it with the heel of my left foot. As scratching goes, I have been rather disciplined, but at two weeks later, I just want it to be gone. Now. All of my suitable enough for work shoes hit right over the top of it, too. Major sucky.

If that isn't enough, I awoke last night to two identical charlie horses in my calves, that's right, both legs simultaneously. I couldn't move and it woke eb as well. There is a distinct pain still resising and 8 hours at the desk on a Friday means rouughly 8 hours on my feel. Loverly. Really. Major sucky x2.

Perhaps I will be feeling a bit more charming at 6pm.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Reading again

I supposethe title isn't entirely accurate. I have been reading all along and I might go seek out the titles I have read and add them to my sidebar list. The top three I have read since the road trip which is about the last week.

Iron Girl I actually read on the road trip. We went to BookWoman in Austin and I got 5 or 6 new lesbian fiction books. A couple newly published and a couple new to me. Iron Girl is the latest in the Jane Lawless series by Ellen Hart. She is one of my favorite lesbian authors and her books are often found in the mainstream mystery section. I don't think we had been to the bookstore a day before I picked that book from the bag, setting aside my knitting of the fabulous road trip scarf, and began reading. I just couldn't help myself having an Ellen Hart novel at my disposal and all.

Grave Silence was next, and I whipped through it fairly fast, but not as fast as Fun Home. I had picked up Fun Home on a previous vist to BookWoman, I think when we went to see Rosemary Daniell (linked as Zona Rosa on left) speak. I decided to give it a read because we are planning to go see Alison Bechdel speak in Austin on Sunday. She is linked on the left as DTWOF and I am too hurried to make more links.

I am going to trry to remember to add future reading to the list as it seems to come and go in spurts. I also seem to pick either knitting or reading. In spurts. Maybe I will work on balance.

In other news, The job I was hoping for went to someone else and I was not even interviewed. There is more to the story but patience needs to be exercised. As it turns out there is another position open equally near, but I really preferred to work for Bob. I take it as it wasn't meant to be, but I am a little put out about the lack of process. I might know more of the story if I can get Dana to lunch next Tuesday. Time will lett as it oftend does.

Off to yoga I go.

Monday, September 18, 2006



Is it odd?

I find it interesting that noone in my little blogosphere has mentioned their fantasy football goings on this morning. Admittedly, it is totally beyond me, but I am indeed a cheerleader for the camraderie, errr, trash talking it inspires.

Did everyone get their asses whooped by someone I am not tuned in to?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


my wife, is such a babe...She is the finest ass bitch in the universe...it's true and now everyone in the blogosphere knows it...there are roses gently fragrancing the air...a new vienna teng cd...a jacque pepin cookbook...a new preety paper journal...a knitting book...i am so ready to swoon again...baby...sigh...ireallyfuckingloveyou...

I had a whole list of stuff I was going to do today, and damn-it-all, I really should have written it down. I think that "Write It Down" will be the credo as I embark on 42. I am getting o-l-d. My dad writes everything down because his recent memory has been shot for more than a coujple of years now, but he is closing in on 79. That's legitimate, yes? I think the next thing I do this morning will be to try and locate that cute little notebook I have so I can take it with me always and begin to use it again. If I can't find it I will stop by B and N and just get another one. They are five bucks and well worth the remembering factor. In the mean time, I can try to focus on salvaging my to-do list. Or not. goddess time always prevails.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Three chicks gettin' nekkid

Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
Ok, we really didn't get totally nekkid but it's an incredible simulation. Here we are at Tonkawa Falls in Crawford, vacation home of the Walking Onion Bulb.

We get to Tonkawa Falls and not only are there no falls there isn't really much of a pool of water to swim in. It was a stagnant pool of water. How fitting considering we were in Dubya country.

There is a picture of the Walking Onion Bulb and his wife the Walking Scallion, as you enter Crawford. I would have like to paint a mustache on both of them but we might have gotten lynched.

We stopped by the 'peace house' where Cindy Sheehan took her first stand against The Bulb. Camp Casey is around the corner. We met the very last hippie, Michael. Omigod. Hip-ola. Feathers in his hair and everything. Just stepped out of Woodstock. Wavy Gravy redux. I tried really hard not to laugh. It worked.

Today we're hanging around Austin/SA lakes (SA is what the natives call San Antonio).

Life is good.

She's such a babe

Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.

GFB gettin' nekkid at Tonkawa Falls

Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.

GFB needs a date. C'mon ladies, who could resist such a babe? Send your NORMAL single friends her way.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

road chicks

road chicks
Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
hey y'all, eb here. That's me with the new do. See my bad ass butch self, Kmae. We're just outside Austin right now, ready to eat some grub (that's what people eat in Texas) .

Today we're heading to Crawford. Too bad it's Sept., otherwise we could have dropped by to see the walking Onion Bulb.

The theme of this trip is Texas Watering Holes. The lake kind and the bar kind. We'll keep you posted.


On the road again...

We have survived the first night of the road trip with GFB (good friend Beth). we did get a bit of a later srart than originally intended, but that.s sorta what being on vacation is about for us, and Beth is learning all about it in what is so far a calm and accepting way. Of course it is day one, and Beth was in Calgary for work for a week having gotten home yesterday at around one and then we turned around and left around six.

I worked yesterday but only 9-2, then packed when I got home. Of course I went home the long way. That would be via the yarn shop which is having its anniversary sale this weekend. I really could have missed that, but Irene has just made her first scarf. I taught her to knit last week and I felt obligated to secure her addiction to knitting before leaving her for a week. She was supposed to come on the road trip with us and we were going to be two knitter grrls happily fixtures in the back seat of the CRV, but work has gotten in the way and she had to bail. Now she has pretty yarn to console her til we return. Yes, I really did *have* to go to the yarn store.

EB also had to work. Her hope was to go in and finish up what she had to finish in about three hours, tops. Her estimates are usually pretty accurate, but of course, not yesterday she was actually there about 6 hours, which I thinks means she burned one of her days off and can actually take another one sometime in the future. On her way home she had to get some food for the boy who is house and dog sitting this week, and then had to pack and geotherwise ready to go. We finally left around 6 I think, and arrived at Beth's folks' about 945. I think we would have made the 930 estimate but we can't go through Giddings without stopping at the DQ, so 945 it was. Beth's mom had dinner waitig for us which was delish, and after we ate, I gave her sister a haircut. Juliew usually comes to Houston for that, but since we're here, it saved her the trip next weekend.

We have a lovely king size bed which I am still lazing in. EB went out for a run and I might upload our first road trip pic after a shower so y'all can see her new 'do.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Over the weekend or otherwise recently...

We were at the grocery store and in the check out line, I said hello to one of the salon's crazy clients. She really is cuckoo. Coo. Coo.

Anyway, I said hi and she was yammering away with the casheirs about something she left in the fridge for them. I was explaining to eb how cuckoo she is and telling her that when she is in the salon, she will fold towels and help us out. EB says, "That's nice of her."

I said, no, like she takes the already folded towels out of the cabinet and refolds them so they are all folded the same with the tags all in the same direction. OCD cuckoo. EB then commented how nice that she puts her (eb's) obsessive tendencies in to a proper context.

Today, the client came into the salon for her appointment and told her stylist, "I saw Maxine at Randall's. She was with her daughter and the daughter has tatoos!"

Sunday, August 27, 2006

As stolen from Chapin

This makes me feel pathetic in comparison to Chapin, but it's so not about that. I have seen 15% 33%(I forgot 2 states) of the US. This has to change.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

Saturday, August 26, 2006


Last night I had the unfortunate instance of having to experience a customer who was winging in a serious way. I mean Winging. No, WINGING. This was way beyond a little daily funk. Way. Beyond.

As I stood, presumably safely ensconced behind my little receptionist podium, I was trying desperately hard to not make a pfuckingu sort of face. I was about 5 or 6 feet away and the odor was engulfing me. I made his appointment and knew he was coming back for me to suffer once again in an hour or so. P. U.

So my dilemma is this: This is not just a client He is the spouse of an associate in the store. He is often hanging around her work area with their young child presumably witing for her to get off or to go to lunch. Often. If I was her manager, I would certainly have a problem with exactly how much he is hanging around. But I am not and his hanging around is not the main concern here.

Customers *have* to be experiencing his wing factor. To whose attention do I bring this? My manager? Her manager? A higher up? No-one?

Weigh in, peeps, lest you experience his wing.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006



Monday, August 21, 2006

Hell Freezes Over

That will be in the headlines worldwide today. Check your local news.

Yes, the Mother's Day/Father's Day/other miscellaneous crap box for my folks has been mailed.

Dear Sweet Elizabeth, you're welcome.

Friday, August 18, 2006


Fresh ink. Is awesome.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


I just mentally shifted the PO back another day. Why is that? Well, I just looked at my paycheck online (payday is not til Friday), and I am just totally amazed at myself. Not only did I have my highest sales week ever last week which translates to chunky let;s go to dinner commission, I also seem to have gotten a forty cent raise. That is made awesome by the fact that I thought I was at the top of the payscale for the receptionist position.

This brings into my mind a lot of questions, the major one being is it worth leaving this position. I appreciate that I will not have spectacular sales like last week's all the ime. But a week like that after being open only 6 months is pretty good, and leads me to think that my average week will still be getting better. The base salary would be a few dollars more an hour with a nice salon override. It would be significantly more money, but also significantly more responsibility and potentially more stress.

there are also several on my current staff who I feel are toxic to me. But that might be equally true in the other position. Of course, I still need to be offered the new position. I just. Don't. Know.

No expectations = no disappointments. I still maintain this outlook about it.

It's all good.

Monday, August 14, 2006

So Monday is waning...

The box for my folks is still sitting in the library. Maybe tomorrow. Really. I also need to go to Target tomorrow and get a gift card so I can get it in the mail to my youngest for back to school. I think logic dictates I hit Target tomorrow and then the PO on Wednesday morning.

Thus begins the new plan.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I have *so* not felt like blogging lately. Not that I am in a bad movie or have a funk approaching, my brain is just spinning out of control in various other directions.

The big question about my job status is still unanswered and the manager in question is taking his time, like 3 months or so, to let the chaos resulting from the last salon manager's exit to subside. If it wan any other person handling it, I might think I was being put off, but not so with this man. If I do not get the position it will be purely because someone is more qualified than I. I think if this issue was settled, I might have some more focus all around. Maybe. Really. And since Weese's MAW(tm) told me the job is in the bag, I really am not at all stressing about it. I have faith in her connections with the Universe.

Otherwise, my todo list is sitting stagnant. On Monday, I *will* be going to the post office and mailing several things, the least of which is my parents' mother's and father's day box. Can you slacker?

Then there is the knitting...

more later...maybe...

Friday, July 28, 2006


It is hard to shave pits when one's dearest *and* sweetest has put the blade on the razor upside down. Did I mention it was silly?

Thursday, July 27, 2006


When your dearest *and* sweetest has done something silly of which she is likely totally unaware, do you tell her right away or do you wait for her to discover it on her own?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


What a fabulous anniversary trip to NYC. I really do have time to say more, but if I start saying more, I will run out of time and end up late for work. So for now, many thanks to Suzanne, Wendy, Weese and her MAW(TM), and Crystal. It was divine to see you all, and P-Town cannot come soon enough. I am seeing a lovely house on the beach perhaps. Or even off the beach. How soon do we need to collect the deposit?

Friday, July 14, 2006

And We're Off

Woohoo...on schedule, even. The President's Lounge awaits us at the airport.

Hasta la pasta.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

One. More. Day.

Anytime I am taking some time off, there is always pre-vaca whangling with my normal work schedule. Our two part time receptionists are both night/weekend, which mostly works aout well. It affords me a Tuesday through Saturday 10-6 schedule. I like the consistency or at the very least have gotten used to it.

When I want time off, the challenge is in seeing that the desk is covered adequately. My boss usually has to juggle her own schedule and pick up a lot of the slack herself, because until the salon has a year end sales figure, our desk hours are very limited. Once we have more hours, another day person will be added. Someone more flexible than our two current part timers.

In addition to me beimng off this weekend, both of the part timers have scheduling issues. One, who I coordinated my time with because she said she could work the Saturday, decided she needed this week off as abreak from both her jobs before she goes postal. The other had a family reunion pop up which takes her away mid shift on Sunday which I would normally happily cover for her. Because of the first part timer's request, I am working today which I originally asked for off as PTO. Not only am I working today, but I am working 12-9, as I did on Tuesday.

Working these two nights, while currently messing with my chi, have also introduced the possibility that I might miss working Tuesday and Thursday late. If it was the norm, I would still be in yoga class. I would also be able to piddle(not puddling piddle, but piddly shit piddle) more mornings.

There isn't any way to effectively change the schedule at this time, but it is something to throw onto the back burner and contemplate. Over cocktails. Tommorow. In NYC.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

slowly, it begins

Dear Sweet Elizabeth was out late last night with her brother, her sister, and her father. no phone call telling me where to meet them to join in their revelling, Ok, no more cheap shots teasing her. She did call me to say they were going, but never called to say where they ended up, and yes, I could have easily picked up the phone and called her, although when I did that Friday night because I made it home before her shortly after midnight and she had my house keys, her cell phone was in the car, not in her pocket while she was in the pub, and I had to recline in the driveway and well, just wait for her to ge home shortly before one in the morning.

Anyway, when she called me, I was at work still and I was exhausted. I am not sure why work was more taxing this week, but it was. I think she called around 4 but I am not sure. She said she was pretty sure I wanted to pass on her dad and she was right on that account. I told her the only plan I had was to hit the bed as soon as I got home. At 6:15, that was where I was. I got home and let the dogs out and then stripped on my way through the house and stretched out queenifying the bed. The dogd somehow knew to let me get settled and then they each found there own little nice around me.

I never quite fell asleep, but it was dark and restful. At 8 I decided to get up and I was hungry. I threw some clothes on and headed out the door with my laptop and some books and went to Cafe Artiste. On the way I stopped at Border's to pick up Anthony Bourdain's new book as my class begins tomorrow, and I love me some Anthony Bourdain. Mmhmm. Sexy ugly like money in the bank.

Anyway, I picked up the last copy of the book Border's had on display, and then went on to Cafe Artiste. A booth was available right away and I called Beth to let her know I would be there a while if she wanted to come hang out after the party she was at. I got some work done because while I was connecting to their wireless, their server was not connecting to anything which meant no surfing, and yes, actually writing. Nice.

I was on my second Mexican Pepsi when Beth arrived and I shut down my laptop and we talked paint colors for the rooms of her house. I think she is ready to commit to some serious color on her walls. When we went out to the parking lot to go home it was nearly midnight. "Hey, is your mp3 still not working?" Beth installed a gadget behind my cd player which allows me to plug in my mp3 player and it is the shit, but ut just stopped working soon after. "Let me take a quick look."

I had been listening to a cd on random and when I switched back to the mp3 player, I had inadvertently hit skip. Last night near midnight, I learned the mp3 player only works when it is showing cd track 1 playing. Woohoo, it still works after all. Beth is the bomb, I tell you. She really is the quintessential gadget girl.

So I got home at about 1230 and e was still out gallavanting with her family. Still no phone call, doesn't she miss me? I was awake still at this point and since I went to Cafe Artiste with the intention to start the Sub Zona Online page on blogger, but couldn't bacause I couldn't open anything, I sat up, waiting for Dear Sweet Elizabeth to return home safely and decided to get it started. It is linked on the left. I did a little tweaking to the template this morning and it looks good in Safari, but I am not sure how it looks form any other browser but I know that in IE for Mac it looks like crap but so do a lot of pages so I need to check it from the pc. If you are interested just let me know.

I went to bed just before 2 and when miss thing finally came in to bed, I think the sun was up. So yes, that is her you hear snoring in the next room.

Cocktails follow a week from right now.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Queen of the Lilliputians finds Gulliver's Turf

Just about every six weeks, I take the thirty minute ride out to Katy to see one of my clients. Angela was my very first client at JCP when I moved to Texas eight years ago. She has been 100% loyal to me, following wherever Goddess Time (tm) took me to work, and once I semi-retired, she was on the short list of clients I would keep up with at home.

She lived in our hood until a couple of years ago when she moved out to the land of bigger is better when her construction company got a couple of Texas sized contracts which has them nicely set and certainly at a new level of financial flush. Angela hasn't really changed much more than her location and I really like that about her. Her family might have bigger toys, but they are still good energy people.

So I pull up to the house and feel so small. For the moment, I am driving a four door Honda Civic LX. Nice basic economical vehicle. When I think about having to fill the Jeep's 20 gallon tank and drive its 13-15 miles per gallon gas hog self, I am glad to have the smaller economical ride.

Hayden and Zach, Angela's boys, were not home today. They are both driving age now and both drive LARGE Ford 2500 trucks. Angela drove a Suburban, loaded, until about six months ago when she got the loaded, though gently used Hummer. It's pretty as Hummer's go, but really, a Hummer. Johnny also drives a big truck, and of course, it is much bigger than either of the boys. Think construction site big. All the vehicles I would think, are company property. Mmakes sense in that way for everyone to have a big truck. I would need a step stool to look under the hood of any of these vehicles.

I actually parked in the driveway today, and the Civic somehow seemed small next to Johnny's Hog. His bike is almost as long as my car. And the airbrushed skulls are oh, so pretty. Really. "C'mon Maxine, hop on we'll go for a spin and give you a thrill."

Now reread that hearing Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

No thanks, Johnny, I have to pass. Been there. Done that.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Close, But No Parade.

We got down to the parade area at about 730 last night and the parade was to start at 830 or 845. We went to shoot pool at Slick Willie's which is right on the parade route. I lost count after 6 beers, but there was Tuaca bombs and Jaeger(sp?) bombs and a lemon test tube thingy and a couple of Red Headed Sluts involved. Who could resist? And let's not forget Margaritas.

No, we saw none of the parade and we were right there the whole time.

Time for Sunday breakfast at Empire.


So I totally forgot the whole tongue stud pursuit. It was the quest of the evening and we truly had the entire place involved. Beth, currently single, wanted to know what it would be like to kiss a woman with a tongue stud. She has had her tongue pierced 7 or 8 years and never kissed someone else with a tongue stud.

Our first waitress, Stephanie, had a tongue stud and Beth asked her. The askikng in itself was a big leap for Beth because she is so shy about such things. Apparently Steph has tried the whole girl/girl thing and it isn't for her. I personally think if
I had pitched Steph for Beth, she woulda done it.

The bartenders were asked. The other waitstaff. We almmost had one of the Miller Lite girls on the line annd they were all hotties. I think if her boyfriend were not present, she would have gone for it, too. (This was when I felt obligated to do the lemon test tub shooter for her time.)

Dear Sweet Elizabeth was contemplating getting her tongue pierced to help Beth fulfill her quest.

As the evening wore on Beth was less determined that it be a woman. It was a shame that DSE and I both kissed a woman with a tongue stud and poor Bethie had to kiss a boy. He was a cute boy, but still. Eww.

I think Beth should have held out for DSE to get pierced.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Sub Rosa

I am nearing the end of chapter three of Secrets of the Zona Rosa. E and I were discussing getting a Zona Rosa group going and I feel in my bones it is something I am meant to be involved in. Since We don't live in Savannah or Atlanta and since there is not a Houston group yet, I am going to declare here in print (of a fashion), tha By the end of June, we will have something started online. I will send out an email inviting peeps I think might be interested, also by the end of June.

I encourage anyone, interested in participating or not, to pick up this book. It is an exploration of craft. It is memoir. It is sharing. If you don't see it near you somewhere, try www.myzonarosa.com or order it from BookWoman.

Stay tuned!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Madeleine's big adventure (the Return of Fiction: the sequel)

Madeleine lost her way at a truckstop on the edge of some backwoods southern town in Alabama with her dog Pete. She was 15, nearly 16 as she left the trunk of her daddy's car which she had snuck into to see where it was he went each night. She must had fallen asleep, because as she was walking toward the diner, she had to duck into the shadow of a truck because heard her daddy's voice and there was noway she was going to let him catch her here when she was supposed to be home in bed, safely sound asleep. Even as she saw him get into his car and drive away, she knew she was better off facing this unknown fate than she would be letting him see her here tonight.

She had to pee and she was hungry but had no money. Pete stayed by her side though he had to pee too, she had no idea how long they had been driving and had no idea where she was. Madeleine went inside and was looking for a restroom. When she asked the old tattered waitress, she pointed to the sign on the door as she said, "Those is for payin' customers. The free ones is over there."

There was a door marked private. The waitress fished in her pocket and threw her something saying, "Here's the key," after a pause she added "Some say it helps if you sing somthin' and some find they really like it. The dog is cute, but he has to stay outside we don't allow no dogs in here."

Madeleine took the dog outside and swallowed hard as she slid the key into the lock on the door marked private. She felt a slight shiver run up her spine as she entered. She was in a smaall curved room with six doors to choose from.Door number three was right in front of her and as she stepped into the room she felt the wall to her right for a light switch. Madeleine needed the light to see where the toilet was. As she turned it on, she felt the free restroom was not too bad. It was reasonably clean and there was an oversized chair and footstool with some magazines and a reading lamp on one side of the small room, then a shelf with some candles on the other side.

The thing that seemed odder than the free restroom actually being homey and presentable was that there were six small windows with screens on them making it hard to look out. you could see if the light was off she decided but she rather liked the comfort of the room with the bare dim bulb on.

What Madeleine didn't realize was that the light going on signaled the men outside, truckers and locals alike, that a show was about to begin.

There was also what looked like a mail slot in the wall, a small brass plate that flapped either way, sure enough, a mail slot.

Madeleine had slipped down her panties and was about to pee and she was wondering why the old hag had told her some say it helps if you sing something. Madeleine had a brief thought about how long she must have been in the car trunk as it was right after dinner when she snuck in and it was after dark now and seemingly very late, though the truckstop was full. She had a forceful stream of pee going when she heard something breathing hard and looked up to see six pairs of eyes watching her.

Madeleine had been cooped up so long that she had no wherewithal to stop peeing. She just couldn't as it felt too good to finally let it out. She heard Pete barking, and she knew that he knew these men were watching her. their faces were pressed right up against the screens and she could see in that instant that two were young, two were old and weathered one was rather fatherly looking and cleaner than the rest or more polished. But the last one was the one that caught her attention. It was a woman's face. Her hair was perfectly done up and she had on the reddest lipstick.

As Madeleine realized that she could now stop herself, she found the toilet paper and wiped. She then pulled up her panties and pants and reached for the light switch in a hurry. Once the room was dark, she could no longer see the eyes and was able to catch her breath before deciding what to do next.

There was a slight scraping sound followed by a tiny tink and she realized it was the mail slot being used. Madeleine sat there afraid to move in the dark for a long time. She was in the comfortable chair curled up with her knees drawn up to her chest and har hands hugging them close when the sound of a key in the lock had startled her awake. She remained frozen in her curled up position afraid to move.

As the light clicked on she saw it was the old hag. Madeleine somehow realized that she was harmless and she simultaneously realized she had set her up. She saw that her nametag read Kay, something which had escaped her earlier. she also looked to the windows and saw that the sun was coming up and no one was there. Kay walked to the window and was pointing at the cash laying on the floor. She picked it all up and handed it to her telling her there is usually a ten dollar fee for the room but as a first timer, she would waive the charge. For the ten dollars, the user gets to keep her tips and gets the clean sheet which madeleine had not seen sitting beside the magazines. Kay told her most of the girls usually drape it over the chair before they begin the show.

"There's no one here right now and I have a shower in the employee changing room which also serves as my office. I have the breakfast shift starting in thirty minutes and I could really use the help if you need work. Anything you can do to help out will be great, five dollars an hour cash plus tips if you can wait tables. If not just the five an hour. These rooms are not used during the day and there is always more like you got tonight. Oh, yes, this is for you too. Miss Luann bought your dog and said she has a place for you if you need one. Her number is on the paper. She gave you a hundred for him which seemed rather fair to me and before you get all crying, I see the tears about to fall, she didn't really buy him, she is a nice old broad, well, she's a lady not a broad, and she will take care of your dog 'til you decide you want to stay at her place or 'til you come to claim him. She said you looked like you had some life issues to settle and since she wasn't here when you came in I figure she was one of your first paying customers. Make up your mind quickly as I really need the help. The shower is yours to use either way, and you will find uniforms hanging on the back of the door. I need to go get things ready."

As Kay shut the door behind her, Madeleine looked down at the cash in her hand. She unfolded each piece and smoothed and straightened them out. When she was finished, she could not believe her good fortune. There were four tens, a twenty and a fifty. She closed her eyes to remember the flash of faces she saw last night in the seconds before she turned off the light. The tens belonged to the two young boys and the weathered men. the twenty to the fatherly one and the fifty to the woman. Maybe the twenty and the fifty were swapped out, but Madeleine was sure about the tens. A hundred and ten bucks. Minus the ten she would have to give Kay for the room use again. That sure beats five an hour. and she could drink some coffee in the diner and do a second 'show'. Maybe a third. The weirdness of it all was somehow suspended in a sort of shock.

Before her brain had too much time to spin out of control, Madeleine remembered that a Miss Luann had bought Pete. She unfolded the paper that Kay had given her and there was a crisp clean hundred dollar bill inside, as crisp and clean as the fifty. The note was simple. Come by for tea at 3pm sharp. It was signed with a scripted L and nothing else.

Two hundred and ten dollars. Madeleine couldn't believe it. She folded her money and put it deep into her jeans pocket. She smoothed her hair a little and was prepared to make an exit because she wasn't certain if she wanted to work harder for her money. Kay had said she needed the help and even though she had set her up with the bathroom show, she had basically been kind to her this morning. She could have kept the hundred for Pete, too and said she didn't know anything about her dog.

As Madeleine walked back into the diner, she saw there were about a third of the seats taken and two waitresses seemed to have a handle on it. She walked into the kitchen to get to the office to tell Kay no thanks, and she saw there was an older cook and a younget boy maybe a few years older than herself working the grill. They were cooking up enough food for an army, not orders for the few people sitting in the dining room.

Kay was having a cup of coffee at her desk and before Madeleine could ask, she told her they had a steady stream of truckers picking up the big breakfast to go, that was four breakfast tacos, four links of sausage, four biscuits, and two cartons of milk. She paused to look at the clock and continued. "In thirteen minutes, every seat will be taken in the diner and the line will start forming. Are you in?"

Madeleine jumped into the shower stall and stripped off her clothes. She forgot to grab the uniform and asked Kay to pass it to her please. The shower was running and she was rinsing her hair when she saw Kay in the doorway to the shower watching her. "Firm young flesh, I wont touch unless you invite me, but I'll look every chance I get."

To that, Madeleine had to smile and she turned her profile to offer kay the full view. Kay laughed and blushed slightly, and held out a towel as Madeleine turned off the water.

Kay told Madeleine the uniform on the right would be just about the right size, maybe a little big, and the one on the left would be a tight squeeze but better tips. Madeleine reached to the left and Kay said, "My kinda gal," as she opened the door to return to the kitchen.

There was a comb on the shelf in the shower and after towel drying her long hair, Madeleine combed it out and pulled it into a ponytail using a rubber band that was lying on Kay's desk. She wrapped the tail around itself and secured it with two pencils as she had no bobby pins. She looked into the mirror and saw that indeed this uniform was a size or so small for her. she reached into her top and adjusted her breasts so that they were more comfortable and this also resulted in better cleavage. If she was going to offer a view, it would be the best view she could offer. Then she stepped back far enough to see how the skirt of the dress fell on her. It was tight and it was short. She was about to grab the other uniform which would be a bit more modest when she heard a crash in the kitchen and a lot of cussing. Madeleine decided to go with the tight fit remembering Kay had said it would bring better tips and she left the office to see what had happened.

Kay was filling plates to replace the tray that had been dropped. She looked up and smiled at Madeleine and told her unless she had experience, her best help would be by sitting back and doing whatever was asked of her. Madeleine had no experience and told Kay this and they agreed she would hang back and jump in when asked or if it was clear what needed to be done. Kay told her to start filling the to go boxes with the big breakfasts. Four tacos, four sausage, four buscuits. Then she could bag them up with the two milks and have them ready. Madeleine nodded and set to work. The boy had been doing this and as he saw Madeleine coming over, he stopped and went to clean up the fallen tray.

It was pretty easy work as the tacos had already been made. There was a steamer tray of each item on the counter. Madeleine opened up a line of to go boxes. Ten of them fit on the counter. she then opened the taco tray and put four into each box. then the sausage, then the buscuits, then closed them all. She repeated this process four times before she ran out of supplies. As the boy came back to help from cleaning up the mess, he was surprised that she was done.

Before he could ask her how she did that so fast, Madeleine recognized the surprised look on his face as one of the younger boys from the night before. She smiled briefly then explained her assembly line method. The boy told her he usually did them one at a time and really got into there being a wait once the demand started. Forty of them each morning and here they were all ready. He reached for the sacks and started to bag them. He told Madeleine that they should add the milk as they went to the customer so it would be fresh. He said once they started in, he would bring the carton of milks from the cooler. Half the breakfasts were all lined up and ready to go as Kay walked into the kitchen to announce she needed the first six. She was surprised they were ready and she grabbed three bags saying she would be right back for the other three. As Madeleine was caught up for a moment, she grabbed the other three and followed Kay to the register.

Kay thanked her and said to go get six more as the line was now quite long. The boy had begun getting the milks into the bags and as he was doing that, Madeleine bagged up more of the lunches. Madeleine kept a steady stream of them coming to the register so Kay did not have to ask for more. By 7:30 in the morning, the breakfasts were all gone. All the while there had been a steady stream of customers filling the chairs in the diner.

Madeleine had learned that the two waitresses, Rosie and Maria, were sisters. They worked well together and occasionally one would tell her table three needs sides of this or that. There was a table chart on the wall of the kitchen and this was a good way for Madeleine to get familiar with the layout and also to learn how to not be in Rosie's or Maria's way.

All of a sudden, there was a calm in the diner. Madeleine looked up and saw it was 10:30. She had just brewed her 67th pot of coffee for the morning and brought the pot and a fresh cup out to Kay who was smoking a cigarette at the register. Kay had a look of extreme appreciation as Madeleine filled the cup. Rosie and Maria came over with cups of their own and one for Madeleine. Kay spoke up, "So Sugar, you gonna tell us your name?" Rosie looked to Maria. "We don't need to know her name Mama, we just need to know she's staying."

Kay then shook her head. "I doubt it, she has an appointment for tea today with Miss Luann and you know what that means. We'll be lucky to ever see her here again."

The girls were both nodding their heads in unison. Kay opened the register and handed Madeleine a twenty. She had worked four hours. She then handed her another twenty because the big breakfasts had gone so smoothly allowing more customers to be served. Rosie and Maria had already counted up their tips and had about a hundred bucks each, not bad for breakfast shift but they had about a six time table turnover to the normal 4, and that was because of Madeleine's help. They each gave her a twenty.

There was a jar on the counter that Kay had put up which said "for the new girl" on a napkin taped around it. Madeleine was surprised to feel it heavy wiith change. She took her coffee to a table to the side and told the girls they could join her if she liked. She dumped the contents of the jar and counted it out. there was a few fives, and some singles, and the rest was mostly quarters with other smaller change. there was seventy-two dollars and fifty-six cents. So in the four hours she was there, she made $152.56. In addition to the money from the night before, she had $362.56. Sneaking into the trunk, even though she did not really find out anything new about her daddy, wasn't the worst decision she had ever made.


i awoke from a weird dream this morning again. i was madeleine, a girl of about 16 who had snuck into the trunk of her daddy's car with her dog pete to see where he went at night. After sneaking out of the trunk, I found myself stranded at a truck stop in Alafuckingbama.

Weirder still, the dogs were up for bed last night before 11 so I expected to hear Miss Lilli barking at 445am. Maybe e put them out and I slept through it. I got up to pee having woken from this dream as Madeleine was looking for a bathroom. I saw it was 745 and I then went and put the dogs out. None of them had made a sound until they saw me. After everyone had done their business, I sat with my laptop to write about Madeleine. I need to do a major edit on it and I have no idea where it came form or where it is going, b ut it continures the bizarro morning in a unique fashion.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

And the winner is...


Chapin, you need to send me your address so I can send you your prize.

To the rest of you who participated, also send me your addresses* as you are eligible for boobie prizes.

*I might already have your addresses, but to be sure send them to queenmaxine gmail com anyway. Alternately, your prize will be delivered at The First Annual Anniversary Brunch over cocktails in 33 days.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Mystery of the Zona Rosa

Just back from Austin. We went to BookWoman tonight to see Rosemary Daniell discussing her newest book, Secrets of the Zona Rosa. To say I am intrigued is an understatement of sorts. There will be a writing retreat in Tuscany. In all likelihood, we will be going. I bought the book and want to dive right in. I am already spinning the possibilities of starting an online group to plow through this process. Who's in?

Before reading the discription of the event on the BookWoman website, I had never heard of this woman or her book or her workshops. I like it when I can see that I have listened to the universe when it was speaking. Synchronicity. Serendipity.

Goddess Time.

No less than 8 or confessions of a liquid soap whooore

Can you even fathom it? We have eight different shower gels currently in the shower. ( if you count the manly man one which belongs to the boy.

Eight. There are not eight days in the week, so why eight? Two are Suave, two are Graham Webb, One is something Citrus minty and three are from the semi annual Bath & Body Works clearance. No brand discrimination here, yes, I admit to the Suave. And all distinct scents and no lavender, thank you Little Baby Jesus (tm). I am allergic to lavender and all things lavender are pure evil.

At work yesterday, we got some new merchandise. Paper soap. It might be brilliant. But not for the shower collection. Liquid soap is the only way to go. No bar soap for me. Ewww. Liquid soap does have its limitations and the cute grrl purse is one of them Paper soap adapts quite nicely and there is even a choice of colors. The containers came in yellow, blue, red, green, and purple. The first to guess which color I am getting wins a prize*. Really.

*She who is dear *and* sweet forfeits all prize eligibility.

Monday, June 05, 2006

shopped til we dropped

By 10 Sunday morning, we were sitting at Empire Cafe enjoying our breakfast hour. They have a dish called El Paso migas which we have been contemplating for some time. It is certainly enough for two and potentially enough for three or four. Four scrambled eggs (more like six) with chorizo, pico, quac and sour cream served over tortilla strips.

Silly me, but I thought this was all layered and I thought it came with tortillas, not tortilla strips. The chorizo, eggs and pico are all mixed and scrambled. The chorizo they use is super hot. Spicy, mama. Aye. Chi. Hua. Hua.

Luckily, I enjoyed most of the scone we ordered, so when after a few bites I wisely proclaimed I could not/would not finish my eggs, at least I was still rather full.

We have been going to Empire frequently for the entire 8 years I have lived here. I would estimate weekly for Sunday breakfast the last two years and still more for dinner. It is my favorite place for the $25-$35 price range and I even go in the morning mid week, too. I luv me some Empire Cafe.

El Paso migas are an anomaly. Wrong. The first time I have been so sorely disappointed with anything they offer. When I start considering them again, e just needs to slap me. Of course I will be very conscious of *not* considering this dish again.


So after breakfast, we went to Pier 1. Actually we went to Storehouse to look at dressers, but they were not yet open, so right down the way is a DSW and Pier 1 so we went to both. I got two new pair of shoes for work and I passed on the new Teva's, though I might go back for them soon.

At Pier 1, we gt some chimes. Just chimes. Lots of stuff we passed on. We were good grrls.

Then we went back to Storehouse where e found the perfect $1200.00. Wethen went to the Storehouse Clearance Center where they have said dresser for $730. The stuff at the clearance center is discontinued merchandise or customer returns, You really need to inspect pieces carefully, because there is almost always something less than perfect, and all sales are final. There were some dings, and in my opinion, it would have been ours at $500, but too much scuffing for $730. The sales boy let us in on the secret of the sidewalk sale on 6/16 at 20% off, so e will think about it and if it is still there, we might get it. But in the mean time we will look further, too.

After that we went to Ikea. We know what a zoo it is on the weekend, We know it is best to go at 8 pm on Tuesday or Wednesday. We went anyway, dresser seekers that we are.

We didn't get a dresser. We got...(big surprise)...stuff. E wanted some photo boxes. I wanted some magazine files. We always need tea lights. An orange paper lamp? We needed it. Really. The new light for the master bath. Check. Two large frames. There might be more, but I do not feel like getting up.

So we were home watching a really bad Robert Urich movie on Lifetime, and of course we were sucked in. Shelley Fabares and a very young Gwyneth Paltrow were also in it. Soon after we got home, the boy asked e if we could go to Dave & Busters. The initial answer was maybe, but somewhere before the end of the movie it became yes and we will never know what happened.

After killing his oldest daughter's no good husband (a young Chandler form Friends)for the insurance money...after shooting his own hand off for the insurance money (which, btw, he did not get), did dad kill the second daughter' husband? Did he kill the estranged wife or the girlfriend who knows too much? Did he finally kill himself? I think he did finally kill himself because the movie opened with a military funeral and all the 4 daughters and wife in attendance.

We may never know.

D & B was a hoot as usual and our day was terribly tiring. but we had a fabulous time. And, we have some new stuff, too!!

Home at 11 pm...we dropped...

Friday, June 02, 2006

Yes, I heard her correctly...

Some of my coworkers can be pretty flighty and of course there are one or two who take the prize on a regular basis. Today was one of those days.

58 year old Hispanic American coworker to 45ish African American coworker...
58: Have you ever picked cotton? (yes, she was serious in asking this...)
45ish:No...!?! (with the gentlest whatthefuck expression on her face...)
58: Well, we used to do it for fun.
45ish: Maybe my ancestors 5 or 6 generations ago did it, but not for fun. (Lomg pause and WTF expression stretches into a true youdumbshit glare) It was called Slavery?
58: Well I'm not being racist, I was just asking because we useta do it for fun. I'm not racist. Really. I'm not.
45ish: Silence continuing with the combo WTF/YDS glare

58 then launches into a long explaining of why she isn't racist and how she grew up in a way that made cotton picking fun...I really wanted to call and see who our diversity manager is just so she would have to sit through the tapes and class. I still might have to do that tomorrow. My manager won't believe it..

Thursday, June 01, 2006

the most divine incense

When we were in VA visiting with our new friends, we went to this import shop called Kosmos. One of our new friends even works on the same block as Kosmos.

The incense was an impulse buy at the register and I chose eucalyptus, which is yellow, green tea, which is green, and the cutest little pack of incense of all, musk, which you have to know, is pink. So the misk incense is the most divine, of course, not only because it is pink, but also because the fragrance totally diffuses shewhocanfartfreely.

I wonder if said friend might be able to secure more of said divine pinkness? Maybe bring it to the Grand Affair First Anniversary Brunch in NYC? 3? 5? I don't remember how much they were, but I can certainly send cash...to said friend...if she would be so kind...as to buy me something...pink...

Would airport security bust her for traveling with something so pink?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

so gay after felt front

so gay after felt front
Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
She's here!!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

NYC '06

The trip list will be revised as plans firm up or are added or deleted, Goddess Time(TM) and all that considered. Times are only a suggested guideline unless otherwise noted.

Friday, July 14

Noonish: arrive W Tuscany...e checks in, max procures cocktails from the lobby bar


2ish: The Whitney

After: Yarn





Saturday, July 15

Pearl River Market
Kate's Paperie
Dean $ DeLuca
Peanut Butter restaurant for lunch

Our peeps arrive(we think)

Sex in respective rooms




Henrietta's on Hudson


Sunday, July 16


11:30 Anniversary brunch at Cafe Zoe with our peeps. Current reservation for 8-9

followed by other stuff...

Friday, May 26, 2006

My wife...

is becoming a frat boy...

mix one cup of Monster energy drink with a shot of Tuaca

Drink 4...

or 5...

Monday, May 22, 2006

The return of fiction...

Or is it?

The following is a piece I did on the Yoga/Wriring retreat I went on in April. We were read a poem about the color yellow and then instructed to focus on color and see where it takes us. We were given 30 minutes to write and the following is what I came up with. I just went through and did a basic edit, but otherwise made no changes? Does it continue? Is Merrill the band that was setting up in Alex Chapter 12? Where did it come from?

pick a color

deep sea blues and greens pool
with just the slightest edge of purple hues
as she ascends toward the surface
it becomes apparent that the water is clear
the color is all generated
from something gliding forth
closer still her tail is layered
in shimmery delight
scales of slivered diamonds sparkle
as light penetrates the water's surface

The cafe was ablaze with activity. Merrill was to perform tonight and that always brought in the most delicious crowd. The purest groupies, affectionately known as Merrill's Mermaids, were lining the stage in goddesslike splendor.

This would be Merrill's first public appearance post cancer and she was feeling strong. She was ready to give the crowd what they wanted, to know that she was back and to know she was here, once again, to stay.

The Mermaids had long flowing hair adorned with locks of vibrant color. some had charms woven in and some had glitter haloing all the edges. They were all pale copies of Merrill, the original, but they were also all unique in some way. It was not an unusual sight if you ever even heard of Merrill, let alone be enough of a fan to see her live. Clearly, these women, and one man, had taken considerable time and care to perfect the look to just so.

The stage itself was rather bare. There was a stool and a microphone center stage, presumably for Merrill. There were two barber chairs with spots shining directly on them. It made little sense. but Merrill's agenda always became clear shortly after the music began.

The venue went dark and in a flash, there was the warming vibration of Flamenco guitar. The light that came on was focused in such a way that the only thing you could see was the guitar, seemingly playing itself. We all knew this was Merrill, but it was interesting to not see her and it was quite apparent she did not yet want to be seen. Merrill played with vibrance, sound gathering momentum and volume enough to silence everything else in the room.

The spot shone blue and the whispering began. "Do you still pledge to me your undying allegience?"

There was a moment of silence and the crowd then went wild whooping yeses all around. The spot then went green over the two barber chairs, all else black. Merrill whispers again. "She who offers herself unyielding shall be the first of the reincarnation."

Merrill's spotlight was slightly broader now revealing her guitar, which she had begun softly playing again, and a bit of her midsection which was bare. There was suddenly a flash of light and a lone violin joined Merrill on guitar. She too was mostly in shadow, but her violin shone in a purple light. There was someone standing behind her whispering, "We're waiting...for the honest few...were waiting...for the light anew..." It was chanted again and again in a pleasing rhythm.

Merrill was steadily playing accompanied by the violin and subtly, they were joined by an upright bass in its own pale lime light. The chanting grew louder. "We're waiting..." The spots on the chairs shifted toward the shadows of the two people standing behind the musicians. The light on them was deep fiery red. It was bright enough to tell they were completely vinyl clad from head to toe. "For the honest few..." Their hands were clasped behind their backs and it was obvious they were holding something. "We're waiting..."

One of the mermaids suddenly walked onto the stage and took a seat in the barber chair. The vinyl clad woman walked to the chair and draped her in cloth in the most gentle fashion. "For the light anew..."

Merrill began singing the chant softly and there was a choice to either pay attention to the lyrics or to watch the action on stage. It really was impossible to do both. Tears were streming down the mermaid's face as the vinyl clad soldier brought forward a gleaming pair of industrial clippers.

Merrill was singing to sooth the mermaid.

"You've taken the steps across the stage
a second verse of your solemn vow
in blinding light it's clear to see
the clippers on your path to me..."

The mermaid is talking to herself inside her head. The barber chair is here for a reason. There are clippers sparkling clear. I can deny her nothing...

There is a building frenzy in the music. By now, other instruments have been unveiled. There is a teal blue glow surrounding a field of flutes. Forest greens shroud the cellos softly adding their harmonious hum. Merrill's guitar is still awash in cerulian blue as the spot, widened a bit farther, reveals brilliantly sequined breasts covered, yet displayed.

The sight of Merril's breasts indicated to a second mermaid that it would be safe to journey across the stage. As if on cue, the second vinyl clad henchwoman came to the edge of the stage and offered the mermaid her hand in reassurance. The school of mermaids surrounding number two helped to launch her onto the stage. By this time, the devout mermaid fans were struggling internally, afraid to be left behind in whatever Merrill had in store.

There was a jump from the seated mermaids as the roar of the industrial clippers, magnified through the venue's sound system, flooded the room. Nothing else could be heard and it was reminiscent of the waterfall pooling into the lake from which they all seemingly sprang forth.

The only visible light was a warm orange glow, its center that of blood oranges, its edges that of lemon chiffon. The fiery red mermaid's hair was ablaze under its glaring enhancement. Suddenly, the mermaid's streaming faces were joined by the diamond brilliance of gleaming clippers. Nothing else was visible, but the roaring of the clippers was mounting and the presence of the vinylclad cutters was assured as they swayed in and out of the shadows.

There was a sudden and instant shift when the clippers became silent and the guitar again began. Merrill was soothing the mermaids with echoes of steadying words cadenced softly beneath the lyrical notes of her guitar. As the synchronized gleaming clippers approached the mermaids' mane-ish halos Merrill was whispering "A light anew is shining through..."

With the first tremendous arc of the clippers, hair was removed from in front of the left ear to the right nape the movement was graceful and smooth. There was no wincing from the mermaids. They were ready to serve and deny Merrill nothing.

Merrill was meanwhile singing of liberation. Of freedom from binding ties. Of tranquility. Of peace. The deep blue spotlight had begun to fade lighter, still blue, but widening nearly imperceptibly. As the second arc of the clippers began traversing the mermaids' skulls in mirrored reverse, Merrill stepped forward into the light revealing her own bald dome.

The mermaids' bowed heads began to lift and there were radiant smiles gleaming in the now lemony light. The light had faded as the hair had fallen. Their scalps had been dusted with glittery fairy dust. the drapes were removed and the vinylclad women ushered them toward Merrill. She kept playing giving each a soft kiss on their forehead.

Merrill knew her audience. As the full stage lights came up, a row of chairs, each with their own vinyl clad shearer were revealed. The remaining mermaids all had a place to sit where their manes were sheared with synchronous precision. They were dusted and lined up awaiting Merrills kiss as the close of the first act of the evening began.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

it's so gay back before

it's so gay back before
Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
I decided to make a gay bowling bag purse. It's just *so* gay. I used Lambs Pride Bulky in red, orange, yellow, blue, green, and purple with charcoal for the gusset.

I knit it up on US 15 needles and my pre-felting dimensions were 22 inches across the bottom and 16 inches up the middle. It took 1 1/2 wash cycles and it felted shorter on length than width. It is rather more carpet bag squatty than it is bowling baggish, but I think I am liking it. It is currently blocking on two boxes of Tazo chai. I am trying to get nice crisp edges. I will shave it and take after pics when it is done drying. I am thinking leather strap handles.

You know you want one Wendy!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Of course, I will call my mother, and I am sure, sorta, that my boys will call me, but I still figure it doesn't hurt to put it out there.

On Thursday, I realized it was my brother's birthday. I meanty to put that out here when I got home from work, but that the Goddess of Chinese Food distracted me and I am just now remembering.

Happy Birthday to my brother David. He just turned 53 and that means he is really old. The last time I spoke to him was in 1980 during the winter olympics. He and his girlfriend (or wife?) came up to the mountains for about a day and they dropped off their daughter Barbara who was a baby then. David said "Hey kid."

Did he not remember my name? Who knows.

There isn't any animosity or drama, at least none I am aware of, we just weren't raiased together. My mom was married before she married my dad, and when she and her first hubbo divorced the kids went with him. I know that was an odd occurence 45 or so years ago, but don't ask don't tell seems to be the method in my family, so I really know nothing of the circumstances.

So Happy Day all around. I want some Italian Toast.

Friday, May 12, 2006

But is it a good thing?

It's a given that the proper ratio of cream cheese to crab, whether real crab or faux, can only be obtained when I make the crab puffs myself at home. PF Chang's comes damn close, but afterall, it's PF Chang's and one would expect this as well as expecting a hefty bill at the end of the divine meal.

One of my coworkers was recently mentioning how they always have a good meal from North China. I was skeptical because I already have a favorite place for Chinese food, and that would be Ambassador. It has been a fixture in Houston more than 25 years and Wendy the owner always recognizes us, and the grrls who work there always know our order before we even sit down. But, it isn't close to home. It isn't terribly far, but it certainly isn't close enough for take-out.

Dear Sweet Elizabeth has been working overtime this week in the driveway to get the car done enough for the Art Car Parade tomorrow. The car is looking spectacular given how brilliant she is, so yesterday, in support of her needing to paint more, I offered to stop by North China on the way home from work. It is actually on the way and I work just a mile from home, so it seemed the least I could do. I ordered shrimp friend rice, sesame chicken, egg rolls, and crab puffs. A good time was had by all. Tres. Yumm.

Of course I forgot about the leftovers when I came home for lunch and E had some when she got home from work, saving some for me. I knew that I wanted more of those cheesy crab puffs and mentioned that I would likely go get some once I detoxed off work a bit.

Good Chinese take out. Close to home. Maybe I just need to eat my next ten meals from there and get it out of my system.