Tuesday, May 30, 2006

so gay after felt front

so gay after felt front
Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.

Sunday, May 28, 2006


Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
She's here!!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

NYC '06

The trip list will be revised as plans firm up or are added or deleted, Goddess Time(TM) and all that considered. Times are only a suggested guideline unless otherwise noted.

Friday, July 14

Noonish: arrive W Tuscany...e checks in, max procures cocktails from the lobby bar


2ish: The Whitney

After: Yarn





Saturday, July 15

Pearl River Market
Kate's Paperie
Dean $ DeLuca
Peanut Butter restaurant for lunch

Our peeps arrive(we think)

Sex in respective rooms




Henrietta's on Hudson


Sunday, July 16


11:30 Anniversary brunch at Cafe Zoe with our peeps. Current reservation for 8-9

followed by other stuff...

Friday, May 26, 2006

My wife...

is becoming a frat boy...

mix one cup of Monster energy drink with a shot of Tuaca

Drink 4...

or 5...

Monday, May 22, 2006

The return of fiction...

Or is it?

The following is a piece I did on the Yoga/Wriring retreat I went on in April. We were read a poem about the color yellow and then instructed to focus on color and see where it takes us. We were given 30 minutes to write and the following is what I came up with. I just went through and did a basic edit, but otherwise made no changes? Does it continue? Is Merrill the band that was setting up in Alex Chapter 12? Where did it come from?

pick a color

deep sea blues and greens pool
with just the slightest edge of purple hues
as she ascends toward the surface
it becomes apparent that the water is clear
the color is all generated
from something gliding forth
closer still her tail is layered
in shimmery delight
scales of slivered diamonds sparkle
as light penetrates the water's surface

The cafe was ablaze with activity. Merrill was to perform tonight and that always brought in the most delicious crowd. The purest groupies, affectionately known as Merrill's Mermaids, were lining the stage in goddesslike splendor.

This would be Merrill's first public appearance post cancer and she was feeling strong. She was ready to give the crowd what they wanted, to know that she was back and to know she was here, once again, to stay.

The Mermaids had long flowing hair adorned with locks of vibrant color. some had charms woven in and some had glitter haloing all the edges. They were all pale copies of Merrill, the original, but they were also all unique in some way. It was not an unusual sight if you ever even heard of Merrill, let alone be enough of a fan to see her live. Clearly, these women, and one man, had taken considerable time and care to perfect the look to just so.

The stage itself was rather bare. There was a stool and a microphone center stage, presumably for Merrill. There were two barber chairs with spots shining directly on them. It made little sense. but Merrill's agenda always became clear shortly after the music began.

The venue went dark and in a flash, there was the warming vibration of Flamenco guitar. The light that came on was focused in such a way that the only thing you could see was the guitar, seemingly playing itself. We all knew this was Merrill, but it was interesting to not see her and it was quite apparent she did not yet want to be seen. Merrill played with vibrance, sound gathering momentum and volume enough to silence everything else in the room.

The spot shone blue and the whispering began. "Do you still pledge to me your undying allegience?"

There was a moment of silence and the crowd then went wild whooping yeses all around. The spot then went green over the two barber chairs, all else black. Merrill whispers again. "She who offers herself unyielding shall be the first of the reincarnation."

Merrill's spotlight was slightly broader now revealing her guitar, which she had begun softly playing again, and a bit of her midsection which was bare. There was suddenly a flash of light and a lone violin joined Merrill on guitar. She too was mostly in shadow, but her violin shone in a purple light. There was someone standing behind her whispering, "We're waiting...for the honest few...were waiting...for the light anew..." It was chanted again and again in a pleasing rhythm.

Merrill was steadily playing accompanied by the violin and subtly, they were joined by an upright bass in its own pale lime light. The chanting grew louder. "We're waiting..." The spots on the chairs shifted toward the shadows of the two people standing behind the musicians. The light on them was deep fiery red. It was bright enough to tell they were completely vinyl clad from head to toe. "For the honest few..." Their hands were clasped behind their backs and it was obvious they were holding something. "We're waiting..."

One of the mermaids suddenly walked onto the stage and took a seat in the barber chair. The vinyl clad woman walked to the chair and draped her in cloth in the most gentle fashion. "For the light anew..."

Merrill began singing the chant softly and there was a choice to either pay attention to the lyrics or to watch the action on stage. It really was impossible to do both. Tears were streming down the mermaid's face as the vinyl clad soldier brought forward a gleaming pair of industrial clippers.

Merrill was singing to sooth the mermaid.

"You've taken the steps across the stage
a second verse of your solemn vow
in blinding light it's clear to see
the clippers on your path to me..."

The mermaid is talking to herself inside her head. The barber chair is here for a reason. There are clippers sparkling clear. I can deny her nothing...

There is a building frenzy in the music. By now, other instruments have been unveiled. There is a teal blue glow surrounding a field of flutes. Forest greens shroud the cellos softly adding their harmonious hum. Merrill's guitar is still awash in cerulian blue as the spot, widened a bit farther, reveals brilliantly sequined breasts covered, yet displayed.

The sight of Merril's breasts indicated to a second mermaid that it would be safe to journey across the stage. As if on cue, the second vinyl clad henchwoman came to the edge of the stage and offered the mermaid her hand in reassurance. The school of mermaids surrounding number two helped to launch her onto the stage. By this time, the devout mermaid fans were struggling internally, afraid to be left behind in whatever Merrill had in store.

There was a jump from the seated mermaids as the roar of the industrial clippers, magnified through the venue's sound system, flooded the room. Nothing else could be heard and it was reminiscent of the waterfall pooling into the lake from which they all seemingly sprang forth.

The only visible light was a warm orange glow, its center that of blood oranges, its edges that of lemon chiffon. The fiery red mermaid's hair was ablaze under its glaring enhancement. Suddenly, the mermaid's streaming faces were joined by the diamond brilliance of gleaming clippers. Nothing else was visible, but the roaring of the clippers was mounting and the presence of the vinylclad cutters was assured as they swayed in and out of the shadows.

There was a sudden and instant shift when the clippers became silent and the guitar again began. Merrill was soothing the mermaids with echoes of steadying words cadenced softly beneath the lyrical notes of her guitar. As the synchronized gleaming clippers approached the mermaids' mane-ish halos Merrill was whispering "A light anew is shining through..."

With the first tremendous arc of the clippers, hair was removed from in front of the left ear to the right nape the movement was graceful and smooth. There was no wincing from the mermaids. They were ready to serve and deny Merrill nothing.

Merrill was meanwhile singing of liberation. Of freedom from binding ties. Of tranquility. Of peace. The deep blue spotlight had begun to fade lighter, still blue, but widening nearly imperceptibly. As the second arc of the clippers began traversing the mermaids' skulls in mirrored reverse, Merrill stepped forward into the light revealing her own bald dome.

The mermaids' bowed heads began to lift and there were radiant smiles gleaming in the now lemony light. The light had faded as the hair had fallen. Their scalps had been dusted with glittery fairy dust. the drapes were removed and the vinylclad women ushered them toward Merrill. She kept playing giving each a soft kiss on their forehead.

Merrill knew her audience. As the full stage lights came up, a row of chairs, each with their own vinyl clad shearer were revealed. The remaining mermaids all had a place to sit where their manes were sheared with synchronous precision. They were dusted and lined up awaiting Merrills kiss as the close of the first act of the evening began.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

it's so gay back before

it's so gay back before
Originally uploaded by queenmaxine.
I decided to make a gay bowling bag purse. It's just *so* gay. I used Lambs Pride Bulky in red, orange, yellow, blue, green, and purple with charcoal for the gusset.

I knit it up on US 15 needles and my pre-felting dimensions were 22 inches across the bottom and 16 inches up the middle. It took 1 1/2 wash cycles and it felted shorter on length than width. It is rather more carpet bag squatty than it is bowling baggish, but I think I am liking it. It is currently blocking on two boxes of Tazo chai. I am trying to get nice crisp edges. I will shave it and take after pics when it is done drying. I am thinking leather strap handles.

You know you want one Wendy!!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Of course, I will call my mother, and I am sure, sorta, that my boys will call me, but I still figure it doesn't hurt to put it out there.

On Thursday, I realized it was my brother's birthday. I meanty to put that out here when I got home from work, but that the Goddess of Chinese Food distracted me and I am just now remembering.

Happy Birthday to my brother David. He just turned 53 and that means he is really old. The last time I spoke to him was in 1980 during the winter olympics. He and his girlfriend (or wife?) came up to the mountains for about a day and they dropped off their daughter Barbara who was a baby then. David said "Hey kid."

Did he not remember my name? Who knows.

There isn't any animosity or drama, at least none I am aware of, we just weren't raiased together. My mom was married before she married my dad, and when she and her first hubbo divorced the kids went with him. I know that was an odd occurence 45 or so years ago, but don't ask don't tell seems to be the method in my family, so I really know nothing of the circumstances.

So Happy Day all around. I want some Italian Toast.

Friday, May 12, 2006

But is it a good thing?

It's a given that the proper ratio of cream cheese to crab, whether real crab or faux, can only be obtained when I make the crab puffs myself at home. PF Chang's comes damn close, but afterall, it's PF Chang's and one would expect this as well as expecting a hefty bill at the end of the divine meal.

One of my coworkers was recently mentioning how they always have a good meal from North China. I was skeptical because I already have a favorite place for Chinese food, and that would be Ambassador. It has been a fixture in Houston more than 25 years and Wendy the owner always recognizes us, and the grrls who work there always know our order before we even sit down. But, it isn't close to home. It isn't terribly far, but it certainly isn't close enough for take-out.

Dear Sweet Elizabeth has been working overtime this week in the driveway to get the car done enough for the Art Car Parade tomorrow. The car is looking spectacular given how brilliant she is, so yesterday, in support of her needing to paint more, I offered to stop by North China on the way home from work. It is actually on the way and I work just a mile from home, so it seemed the least I could do. I ordered shrimp friend rice, sesame chicken, egg rolls, and crab puffs. A good time was had by all. Tres. Yumm.

Of course I forgot about the leftovers when I came home for lunch and E had some when she got home from work, saving some for me. I knew that I wanted more of those cheesy crab puffs and mentioned that I would likely go get some once I detoxed off work a bit.

Good Chinese take out. Close to home. Maybe I just need to eat my next ten meals from there and get it out of my system.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


lesbians unite. It appears the universe is cooperating and there will be a convergence of lesbians. In NYC. At the W Tuscany.
Woo. Are *you* going to dare miss this event?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

and then Steven Segal said...

"Crack smoking mother lover....


When flipping channels because there is absolutely nothing on, how can you pass up watching the scifi channel long enough to see what movie this is? I don't think I have ever seen SS with a cajun accent. At least I think it was cajun.

PS...his lips weren't saying lover...

Now onto the real reason for posting...Kimi Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone ever doubt this? Really? I got a book from her in the mail today. Not for any reason. She was browsing at B and N and thought it was cute. Does Kimi knit? Ummm, no. Does she love me? Absofuckinglutely.

As a result of this blog, comes this book

Long live bestest friends!!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

bead store galore

While in DC yesterday we went to the Phillps collectionto see some great works, then we went on to Mimi'sFor dinner where the fried calamari was just right.

We finished up to this point ahead of schedule, so we had some time to kill before seeeing "On the Verge" at Arena Stage which was funny, but a little long for my liking.

To kill time we walked back through DuPont Circle and checked out a few shops. E saw an art opening which she and her bro and sis-in-law checked out but the niece and I went straight to Beadazzled.

More later.

Friday, May 05, 2006

It's vacation, she could blog if she wants to, blog if she wants to, blog if she wants to...

What a long day it was yesterday. Up at 5 am to make a 730 flight (I stepped onto the plane at 720!) then off to Philly for lunch, a cheesesteak, of course. We went to the Reading Terminal Market and after eating we walked around the place a bit. Back in the corner is a little snacky gifty place and I discovered insane genius.

Marshmallow peeps dipped in milk chocolate. It was really stupid of me not to but all of them. I should have known they would be just about perfect. They had a nice thick coating of creamy milk chocolate leaving just their little peep heads exposed. They have to be able to breathe, you know. And yes, I typed it right, had. I got 2 packs of 2 as they were post Easter buy 1, get 1 free. The possibilities of how good they were going to be distracted me from the inherant reality of knowing I should buy them all.

There was an ice cream plave and I got a mocha mudslide which was good in a cloyingly sweet kinda way. We drank about half of that on the way back to the car. We also bought some other small stuff, some high fiber low salt Pennsylvania Dutch pretzels for my dad, some choc dipped pretzels for our hosts, and some treats for the doggy doggs who own their house.

We would have bought some jewelry if the woman in the shop had acknowledged our presence, but she was intent on the man who was just looking and ended up walking away with nothing. All she needed to do was say she would be with us shortly and I woulda bought some new dykish earrings. Too bad for her.

Then we were off in the car and headed to VA. Nice drive, even if the car has previously been rented to a cigar smoker. There is a barely there remnant smell that most people would not even notice, I was actually glad for my sinuses acclimating to the new allergens assaulting my nose.

We got here at about 530 and sat on the deck drinking a few beers. There were lovingly prepared ribs for dinner, and we had a solo performance on guitar as we retired to the parlor. Talktalktalk til nearly midnight and time to hit the hay. I think all in all it was a lovely day of detoxing from work chaos.

As I left work on Wednesday, one of my coworkers asked when I would be back. I told them very seriously I wouldn't be coming back, I'd be hitting a lottery while away. Never looked back. Never cracked a smile.

Bought the winning ticket yesterday.