Miss Nola thinks she can better type my post right now. Oh, nevermind, she has just burrowed back under the covers. Thought she was missing something, I guess.
In truth, perhaps she could give me a better voice right now than I can give myself. I am just somewhat off my game. I am not doing poorly, I am functional. I was able to be decisive and stop at the kolache drive through on the way home from taking my girlfriend to work, and once there, even knew what I wanted. It feels like a misnomer to call this minifunk depression, but after the big one, I can now recognize it as it settles in. It seems to me that noticing and acknowledging it make it somehow less. Almost as if a rational process takes over. I suppose if I was truly rational about it, I would seek professional help for it, but I have an innate fear of medicating in general, so this is avoided.
The first thing I notice is that I have gotten angry, or better, irritated, with my girlfriend. I can then trace backwards to the first thing that irritated me, and then I know that the depression is visiting. Still, there is really no rationale. I do not know that depression needs a reason, but it would certainly help my understanding and dealing with it. I just know that i am usually not ever put out with her, and when I notice that I am, there is really something else going on.
I will have to see if there are any books on depression and meditation during, or yoga for, at the yoga center at class tomorrow. If not, perhaps I will head on over to B&N to do a little browsing.
Tonight is the first meeting of a lesbian writer's group I will be part of. I think there will be four of us meeting at one of the libraries to discuss what it is we would like to get from the group. I am excited about being there from the beginning, and about doing something tangible. Real. We will also discuss how often we want to meet as well as other possible places.
Also need to get some film developed today and pick up some Oxyclean at Costco. I am hoping it will fix my white t-shirts. I did a white load last week, washed and dried, and the t-shirts look as if tea has been spilled on them. Someone suggested that the Oxyclean might work, so I am willing to give it a try.
I still need to plant those Cannas, too...