Tuesday, July 29, 2003

The first meeting of the writing group was last night and it feels as if we did not accomplish much, but sometimes the accomplishment is merely getting out there for the actual meeting. J and T were there and we blabbed for nearly two hours. We will be meeting next Monday again to hear a mystery writer's ideas about writing and getting published and how the net has changed that some. It will be interesting to see where this group goes and how it evolves. I forwarded a link to some guidelines for beginning such a group and there are a lot of ideas to build upon.

I did not get sleepy last night until after midnight, and I knew I would have to get up to take E to work at 6:30 this morning. My ass would have been just as content to stay in bed all day. I wish I knew what was at the base of this funk. I feel as if I am at a point where I maybe should not give in to the desire to stay in bed and be a slugg, though I also appreciate how that quite often remedies the situation. The difference this time is feeling as if I should not give in to it. Since I needed the car to see a client today at 1, I decided there was no giving in, and I also hauled my ass to yoga this morning. Today was the first time I just did not want to go. I told my yogi this, and she suggested we discuss it a little further via email, so I will zip her a note this afternoon, and I might even go to class again tonight with my girlfriend.

I have been reluctant to make a decision about returning to work, because I really would prefer remaining a housewife. My unemployment will run out sometime in September, and I have been waffling on my choices for returning to work part time. The top three contenders are going back to JC Penney as a stylist, Starbucks, and Barnes and Noble.

JCP is a good choice because I really like the manager I would be working for, and she really likes me. It is, in a way, the known evil. She will be glad to have me, and she will welcome me on any terms. I will enjoy working with her, but the benefits are not really available part time, and if I were to need to be full time, I would rather be elsewhere.

B&N and Starbucks are both mindless work, in my opinion, the latter being less so. Both, as far as I have been able to discern, offer benefits at 20 hours a week, and both have locations closer to home than JCP, but they are definitely both an unknown evil.

Part of me also recognizes that I am certainly able to work full time, and could contribute more to our household financially if I did so, mostly the contribution going toward vacation and quality of life expenses. This said, should I then use Workforce Commission resources to find that better pay, full time job?

This funk has little to do with any of the above. At least I think it has little to do with it, of course I cannot really identify what it is all about, so who knows.

I find myself wishing the beach was nearer, than the hour drive it is. Maybe this means I should just drag my ass out of bed in the morning and take E to work and head off to Galveston bright and early. I know the sun and sea will be restorative. I also know I might not resist the urge to slugg, so I will not committ to anything difinitive. That seems so appropriately typical today.

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