Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Last night I had a moment. Or something. I am not really sure what it was all about, but it was bizarre and I just did not like the feeling. I have been trying to replay my day to see if something specific might have brought it on.

I got up in the morning and took my girlfriend to work so I could use her car. Nothing different in that. Yoga began again after a month long hiatus, and it was a fairly low key class. I figure that the class itself might have contributed to my general feeling of tiredness, maybe.

After yoga, I went and had a cup of my favorite soup at Eatzi's, and the following is from my notebook while there:

"It's 11:30, 95+ degrees, and I am sitting outside at Eatzi's eating hot soup. I'd say something's wrong with this picture, but I am actually feeling quite content. Chicken and dumpling soup with a rosemary and garlic baguette; what else is there?

A table of coworkers to my right...the men all very mannerly letting the women sit first leaves the men having to find a seperate table, only for Barbie to declare it too hot to stay outside. Nonsense...

I wore my glasses all weekend, since Thursday, really, and walked out today without my sunglasses. Sigh."

So all in all, it was a pretty tame day. After lunch, I went on to Whole Foods and got some groceries for dinner. I decided I would make a cold pasta salad using farfalle, olive oil, cilantro, toasted pine nuts, halved grape tomatoes, fresh onion and garlic, and some salt and pepper. I was thinking of a salad I have had before at Eatzi's, and decided to add some black currants to the mix. It was delightful and a success with the girlfriend, as is most everything I cook for us. With the pasta salad, I wanted something light, I got two ears of white corn and some baby carrots which I roasted covered on the grill with some seasoning and olive oil. We have veggies done this way quite often now and they always come out deliciously sweet.

We have been discussing the benefit of incorporating some fish into our diet, so I took the plunge. I was raised in upstate NY and quite often had trout fresh from the river, so I am somewhat spoiled when I think of how I want my fish. I told this to the fish monger at Whole Foods, and he suggested something light, the tilapia(sp?). I seasoned it with a seafood herb mix I have, and some salt and pepper, and then I pan-fried it in a little bit of olive oil. Heavenly.

We thoroughly enjoyed dinner, then E went off to yoga. about a hour later, I had a nauseating hot flash overtake me. I went to lower the a/c, and then laid under the fan and a/c vent at the bottom of the bed. It was a bizarre feeling. I felt a little tired, or weakened, perhaps, but the minute i was naked under the cool air, eyes closed, I could discern a difference and felt fine. Before laying there, I felt as if I might instantly fall asleep, but once I was laying there with my eyes closed, I felt alert and my mind was racing over all the things I have been wanting to accomplish lately. I can only fully describe it by saying it was an out-of-body experience, like I was watching myself lay there thinking things through.

This continued most of the night. I remained at the end of the bed until E came to bed, and then still remained naked and cover free most of the night. I woke from sleep several times, each time noting that it was still night time, and each time recalling or experiencing the sme feeling of witnessing what was happening to me from elsewhere.


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