I am so ready to be hoime.
I could stay longer finances permitting if either of the following applied. Either E would join me, making any corcumstance pleasant, or My mom would let me clean sweep her house. Correction, make that my mom *and* my dad.
My parents live in what would be a lovely artist's retreat. It is about 800 square feet and I am totally guessing. The moveable space is closer to 100 square feet. My parents are both hoarders of miscellaneous crap. I think said crap would be manageable for a time if it was my mother's or my father's, but that it is both of their's, individually and collectively, it is an avalanche waiting to happen.
My mom said in the car today, "Lynn said she couldn't live here when we die, too small."
I said, : That's good because it really should go to me and while I couldn't live here full time, it will be a lovely summer home some day."
Mom: You would want it, really?
Me: Yes. Really.
Mom: I will let your father know that so the will is proper.
Please note this does not actually mean she will have this conversation with my father. My father knows how to have a conversation, just not with my mother. Not with my sons either, really. He has one tone of voice, hollering, and one volume, on. I might have to send him an email about it and mention it. We seem to do okay whether in email or actual conversation, but email has something in writing for him to remember by.
I think anyone who spent time as a fly on the wall would say he is verbally abusive. The trouble is he still minds his manners most of the time. I know my mom feels stuck. Either she thinks she is better off surviving him to get everything rather than the half or less she would get upon leaving, or she is too attached to miscellaneous crap which noone who would take her in would allow to come with her. No reasonable person anyway. I am nothing if not reasonable.
My mom has a sister who left her husband after 40 years of marriage and Aunt Trudy is making it work. It's not like she lacks an example. If I had to label it, I would say defeated. Her other two surviving sisters would certainly take her in as they are both retired widows who enjoy her company. While I think we would welcome her also, I know she would perhaps make E and me cuckoo. This is no immediate concern because of the stuff factor. I advised her to imagine visiting Aunt Patty which she will be doing in September for about a month. I told her to then imagine that the house burns down while she is gone. What would she miss? I think it got her to thinking, but it will take way more to motivate her fully.
Que sera, sera...