I shed some tears today. I am still not clear about exactly why, other than I felt a profound sadness. I was sitting in yoga class this morning as we were getting ready to begin our meditation and Kathryn brought up something in the news today which reinforced for her how she benefits from intentionally avoiding papers and tv news. This thought morphed into a remembrance of 9/11 and if I was following her, how a million other good things were happening on this planet and how sad that many of those other things went totally unnoticed.

One of those other things is my birthday. I had an overwhelming urge to just retreat into the bathroom and bawl. I was able to stave off the tears, mostly, with just a few trickling down my cheek. I sat through class thinking of how I feel forever 37, as if that was the last year 9/11 would be my birthday.

Profound sadness.

On the ride to work, I had a discussion in my head with myself reasoning back and forth over if I was forever 36, or forever 37. I am still not sure why 37 won, other than perhaps the fact of waking that morning knowing it was my birthday before tragedy altered this. I spent a good portion of the day at work trying to discern exactly what the sadness was directly connected to. When I thought about it for a few moments I would feel tears welling up once again, and then I would return to following my breath, inhaling "peace"...2...3...4...5...6...holding...exhaling "Iam"...2...3...4...5...6...

There is still some residual sadness lurking around.

I feel as if this is not an aging crisis as I am perfectly content in my life. Life is good. I am so very happy. All will be revealed as it is supposed to be.