Sunday, April 23, 2006


My wasband is such a sorry ass mother fucker. For the past month or so, every day, I have been trying to call him to ask him about our son. Does he ever pick up? does he ever call back? Fuck, no.

So I am talking to my dear youngest and he is chatting away like normal...then it comes. I hear his dad in the background saying you need to tell your mother. Apparently he got in trouble yesterday. Big trouble. His father had to pick him up from being detained by the police. He had seeds in his pocket...those kind of cut the dancing around it conversation we had short and then dad gets on the phone.

I hate him. I really have a hard time saying I hate this man who I was at one time happily married to, but having an affair changed him and I fucking hate the man he has become since. Can he call me back ever? No. Not until our son is in trouble and he will need help paying for a lawyer. I think I set the record for hang ups today as I hung up on him 13 times. Each time hating him more. I know I could have not answered my phone, but then I would have to listen to his voice on my voice mail and that always makes me hate him more than trying to finish the conversation in the first place.

Each time he would raise his voice or cuss or start telling me what I had to do, click. Then he told me if I hung up again, he would end up having to sue me for help paying the lawyer and for child support too. Click. He really infuriates me. Naturally, I got in the part about how he is not supervising our son enough, and reminded him he never paid child support when connor was living here, and how he demanded his son live with him and I graciously allowed it.

Did I mention that I fucking hate him?

After about the 12th hang up, I told him before hanging up on him that I wasn't in a position to handle the stress he was causing, and that would he please calm the fuck down and call me back when he was behaving more rationally and when he could speak to his son's mother with the courtesy and respect that she deserves. Click.

You know that the phone rang again right away. And I answered. I fucking hate him. And I really hate that he made me cry today and that means in some way he won some small victory. But then I got him. He was babbling on and on about how it isn't his problem that I don't have any savings( which I do) or that there isn't any money because we have been remodeling...he was reaching psycho mode in his rant, the clue being that he was mis-stating the facts I had recited to him, jumbling them all up sort of, and some of them were outright lies if not subtle fabrications. I hate him, afterall, so I was somewhere beyond giving a shit.

I asked him if he would take a breath. While he did that, I told him he missed the comment I made about the cost of my medication. Then I said the stress was bad for my disease. He asked for clarification but was pretty instantly deflated. And I was able to stop short of reminding himhow the soft sounds of my phone voice make his dick hard.

I still fucking hate him. but at least he will be calm when he calls me back after consulting with a lawyer.


weese said...

eesh. nasty.
hang in there max.

maxine said...

thanks weese...that was something beyond a rant or venting, and with e traveling I just had to spew and purge...quite effective, but I was unable to knit for about 24 hours after his call...E will be home momentarily, so i am getting better and better...

KMae said...

Oh, Max,.... I am SO sorry to hear this, what a gigantic asswipe motherfucking sonofabitch. God, how horrible. Maybe he can't really get money from you for this, do you know any good dyke lawyer friends you can bounce this off of? Good luck.

cwhurd said...

It is so unfortunate that you have to go through all of this. It is so hard to be at odds with someone
for so long and that love turns into hate. I hope that you continue to be strong and hang in there. Just contine to be yourself that is something he can't take away from you. You have so many people in this world who are so controling. It is best to make yourself happy but never at the expense of others.