Tuesday, March 23, 2004

There is some energy shifting within me. I am somewhat bothered that I cannot determine whether it is a positive shift or not. I suppose I can only hope it is to be positive.

Driving home last night I had a feeling of such total loneliness. It washed over me in the weirdest way and tears were streaming down my face. I was not thinking of anything in particular, and as readily as it appeared, it also receded.

I am thinking that perhaps there is a connection to formally separating from my women's group. I think that I need to detox off that energy, but I also know it will just disipate on its own.

Then there is knowing I will see one of my best friends, Trisha, in just under a month. We will be going to Las Vegas for her wedding and I have not seen her in about six years. Thinking of it makes me miss her a lot.

Also, thinking about getting married in Boston in September has me dizzy in some respect. It is the ultimate combination of overwhelmed and alive. While there I will see my best friend Kim who I have not seen in five years. Seeing her is always a mixed bag because it is just never enough. Something inside me rips at saying good bye to her.

I need to focus on the good and all the upcoming events we have tickets for. Listening to Norah Jones is working, too.

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