I'm. So. Sleepy.

What a challenge it just was to type that title. Am I really *that* sleepy? Maybe. I might be falling asleep in the pedicure chair. Yippee.

I read yesterday of a search site that gives a penny per search to the non-profit of your choosing, As soon as I figure out how, I will add it as a link in the sidebar, but until then, go check out www.goodsearch.com

A penny a search doesn't sound like a lot, but I read of it in Lesbian Connection and they mentioned that is a hundred readers use this exclusively for a few searches a day, that would be more than $700 in a year which, to a non-profit trying to make ende meet needs, is some serious change. I elect Elsie Publishing (that's LC for Lesbian Connection), but I think you can type in the charity of your choice each time you use it. I have them on my toolbar and will remove the google and yahoo search bars to make it easy for myself.

EB just informed me we will leave a bit earlier than planned, so perhaps more on this later.

What? It's only 10:30?

I was up this morning at about 5:45 and I was the last one up. EB, who has been sleeping in lately? Up bright and early. Chef William who doesn't get up til he has to? His alarm went off while I was on the pot. (TMI, I know...get over it already). Chef was up because he is working this morning. Thomas, well, he came over last night at 11 and we only made it until about 10:20. I think Thomas was still up from xmas eve.

I took the pizza dough out of the fridge and let it warm up a little to make handling it somewhat easier. I made some monkey bread. You pinch off small pieces to roll into one inch balls and then dip them in butter and roll them in cinnamon sugar. Then collect them all on a bundt pan and bake at 375 for about 40 minutes. Hot gooey cinnamon is way hot when it comes out of the oven so be careful when you have at it.

Once the monkey bread was done, I raised the oven temp to 400 and popped in Nigella's Croque Monsieur bake. I made a pan for us and I took a pan to chef and his coworkers. Omigodthatissofuckinggood.

We opened pressies this morning before chef went to work and sadly (ok I'm kidding weese), I got four gift cards from loved ones. Let me emphasize I am kidding about being sorry. Contrary to the opinion of the great and powerful weese, I love me some gift cards. EB might just be addictd enough to Thomas' guitar hero 3 to need her own.

Time for a nappypoo before Papu comes over for dinner which will be cornish hens and roasted winter vegetables because quite frankly, it's time for our asses to be back on track.

Happiest of holidays, y'all!

happy xmas eve eve

Y'all celebrate this, yes?

I am celebrating today by being a slug. I know, you're *so* surprised. EB is out shopping. William is at work and Thomas just left to do Thomas stuff. My shopping is officially declared done and I, am slugging. After I post this I might give William a call to see if he wants a ride, which gets me a chai, but I don't *need* a chai. I don't want one. It is part of the abundance I am feeling, I think, and I posted about that just now at Cultivating Grace, linked on the right if it interests you.

This morning, we had a bot-o-drama with les chiens. I think Sawyer started it when he jumped off the foot of the chaise and snarled at Lilli, who then snarled at Nola, who snapped and flipped Lilli over in an instant. I have never seen Lilli and Nola so pointedly aggressive toward one another. There was no "I was just playing" forth coming from either of them and we simply had to intervene. I am presuming that Lilli Munster is in heat again, and I think in lieu of this incident it might be time to take care of that once and for all.

Last night was the fourth annual White Trash Xmas Buffet. I made the usual feast for WTXB4. We dined on beanie weanies, macaroni and cheese, chicken wings(both spicsy and patented sweet varieties), Pork tenderloin, mashed potatioes, homemade (not lipton) onion dip with not homemade chips, apple cider pound cake, rolls, and dee-lux(typo intentional due to the white trash nature of the affair)queenmaxine chocolate chip bar cookies. There was plenty of wine and beer to go around to the dozen or so guests we had in attendance.

Then. We played cards. Liverpool to be precise. And the fun continued into the late evening hours. We. Had. Fun.

There are enough leftovers that I needn't cook before Thursday (as Chef takes Wednesday), but Tuesday *is* xmas, so I will cook something. I am considering Croque Monsier from Nigella's latest cookbook. It is a ham and cheese on multigrain bread, soaked over night in an egg and cream concoction and then baked off in the morning, or whenever it seems time. What's not to like?

I guess I should see what time eb's pop is coming over because he might be expecting some real food. Croque Monsieur for brunch followed by cornish hens and roasted veggies? I think that might just be the ticket.

Holiday restless

I wish there was a way to suspend reality, alter it to suit the day, then save it as the new reality. That's what we do as we go through life, I suppose, but it seems it might be better served if we could do it consciously without having to learn life's little lessons along the way.

What would happen if a person consciously came to a point where they felt no need to learn further lessons? Shouldn't said person be able to happily go on his or her way in that state of constant contentment. Is this enlightenment? Realizing you have learned life's lessons and need not learn any more?

What is she teaching her children?

On Saturday morning, while doing a less than random act of kindness, I was the victim of a psychotic lunatic's road rage. It was animated in such a way as to have read the story, but have need to experience it first hand to believe it. Surely exaggeration played a part in the grandness of it all. Umm, No. This was so big, no patented queenmaxine exaggeration is needed. Really.

Saturday was the first of the month, and as it often does, it snuck up on me swiftly. Who makes their billing due date the first of the month? Discover. I've asked before for it to be changed and got a swift reply of "I'm sorry ma'am, that's just not possible. It's insane. Fortunately, you can pay your Discover bill at Sears and we happen to have one less than a mile away at the mall I had to go to anyway because I work there on Saturday morning.

It is the holiday season and I had planned to leave plenty of time for traffic and parking, as well as being prepared for lines at the register. On Saturday morning I also like to go by Starbucks to see Chef at work. He works at the second most convenient Starbucks (still within a 2.5 mile radius of home) and his store is particularly busy on Saturday morning. I left a little later than I had anticipated, but I knew the priority was Sears/Discover and if that was all I accomplished, even if it made me late for work, anything else would be gravy.

Apparently, last Saturday morning we were in the eye of the hurricane that is holiday shopping madness. I got to Sears and parked in the very first space by the door and the parking lot was relatively dead. It was 8:45 and I knew JCP opened at 7, so I was relatively sure Sears was open. I walked in and there were 4 men happily greeting me and offering assistance. I always go in through the Craftsman section because it is usually the quietest. I told them I just needed to make a payment. Upon closer scrutiny, I saw that the person assisting me, one of the 4, was actually a dyke. She was cautiously flirty.

I got back in my car and it was just 8:48. Starbucks is on the horizon. Between Starbucks and where I sat, and directly on the way is Shipley's Donuts. I have been extremely disciplined in the low glycemic way lately and truly, it has been pretty easy. I had no onclination toward a donut for myself. Zero. Really. None. Chef, however, likes their kolaches. I decided that if I could park when I got by Shipley's, kolaches were in his immediate future.

There was a space right in front, and still feeling eye of the hurricanish, there was oddly no traffic. This is a very busy place any morning, but on Saturday, there will be no hurrying.

I lie when I say there was no traffic. There was, far enough away that it posed no worry, one lone black SUV. Big, honking, IliveinMemorialandhave$$andyouareaninterloperbegone black SUV. Again, it was safely way far down the street.

I had my signal light on to turn left into the Shipley's parking lot. The parking lot drive area is u-shaped. I turned in and this crazy black SUV with its dark tinted windows came barreling toward me, horn blaring. As I was turning into the parking space, it was trying to cut me off having turned right into the out going end of the driveway. A second mre and it would have hit me. I cut my ignition to see it blocking me in from behind in my rear view mirror. The window rolls down, and there was a rather good looking(other than her disposion making her *so* unattractive) woman leaning across a 6 year old to look out the passenger side window. She was screaming something, and you know, momma didn't raise no fool. I stayed in my car and would have remained there until someone had escorted this psycho away. I had some knitting in my bag and could have settled in for a pleasant morning knit.

After about 2 minutes, She began to pull away and exit the entrance side of the driveway. As soon as I saw that she was not going to Shipley's, I got out of the car. At this time, she was on the front side of my car in the street, not between me and Shipley's any more. Her window was still down and she once again leaned over to shout out, and I quote, "Like you need another fucking donut!!"

There were also 2 small children in the back. The one in the front hadsunken as far as she could away into the seat. There was a man with a double stroller waiting by the door as I went to go in. "Was that a lady driving that car?"

"Ummm, No. I think not." He then offered to buy my donut for me. Wasn't that sweet? He was attractive, too. Very pleasant.

The irony of the entire situation, at least to me, is that I was not there buying anything for my fat ass. I was there getting kolaches to take my son at work. Oddly enough, the whole exchange didn't at all bother me except in that she was really setting a poor example for her children of how to treat people. What else are those children learning from her?

On another note, I saw my new doctor on Thursday and I liked him. It isn't often that I like a male doc right away, so I guess I really like him. We discussed my disease in very frank terms and he asked all the right questions. He called the nurse in so he could feel me up, checking various glands and palpating my intestines,all very benign. Then he said, "Okay Maxine, Drop your pants to mid thigh (they were just unbuttoned and ooched open at this point) and roll on your side, I need to see your bottom." To which I replied, "Dr M! On the first date?" "Don't worry dear (the glove snapped on), I have the lube right here..."