Oh, how I hate feeling like I have to get my shit together. Of course, I feel my shit is together for the most part, and I have some sinus crud issues currently, but in general I have been feeling smething less than focused.

I have been able to get stuff together for the new issue ofEmerald Pillows, but I have been less than inspired. E is instituting a redesign of the website so that has inspired me some, but I am feeling rather ambivalent about it all. I think it has mostly to do with not having unlimited free time to pursue it as I did when we started it. Still, it rolls along mostly effortlessly.

I am more ambivalent about my women's group. I am committed to seeing it through, yet I at times have to question my place there. At best I see it as something of a documentarian. I will have to be sure that is a word, I suppose, but it seems to capture what I feel my role is. I have been chronicleing my involvement with Hitaji and I will continue to do so. Could be it remains for my eyes only. Just not sure yet.

It is a new year and I really want to focus on new goals...I am just...not...there...yet...