Tuesday night I went to sleep with the beginning of a kink in my neck. Wednesday morning I awoke to it fully formed and restricting movement. I had to go in to work for a meeting and one of my coworkers did some massage on it which I hate as it is usually equally painful to me unless the person is very gentle, but I was in enough pain to allow it. Now it is still there and a little worse, plus my flesh feels bruised from the massage, though at the time it did help.

I probably should stay home today and rest, though there is really no rest to be had with this kink, and my sick days and benefits do not kick in until next week. Go figure.

The inside of my head
feels like the breath you take in Houston
as you step outside the air conditioned comfort
on a July afternoon
when it has been misty rainy
and it is 100 plus degrees
and 100%+ humidity.

I am not really groggy
don't really have a headache
not extremely tired
though I am still not sleeping well.

My mood is something less than cranky
not having directly snapped at someone since Friday last
when I told Gil to quit his damn whining
about his hemorrhoids
because that was something beyond too much information
and it was not very pleasant
to have to listen to.

I have been wearing my glasses lately
not my preferred contacts
because the inside of my head is where my eyes are.

My coworkers see me and ask what is wrong
because of a combination of some
or all
of the above.

The rim of darkness
is lurking
near.

I really dislike mornings. Not that this is any major revelation, I have never been much of a morning person, but lately, there has been an active dislike of them. Perhaps it is that I need some black currant tea to get moving. I will have to get some to see if that helps.

In part, I think there is more resentment because I have to go in on my day off for a salon meeting and I just do not want to. I will, of curse, and I will not even bitch about it because that is simply the kind of employee I am. Also, I really like my manager and she deserves my support in this matter. The salon meeting id followed by a trainers' meeting. Even if I decided to blow off the salon meeting, I really need to be at the trainers' meeting. Besides, I have procured a wicked prize to be drawn for from those present at the salon meeting. A $30 gift certificate for
PF Chang's. Just because I am the one who goes to get the prizes does not preclude me from being eligible.

Once the meetings are done, I will head into town to a cafe to sit and write. I had been going to Cafe Artiste, but last week I went to Brasil and I enjoyed the change of scenery. There is a braless counter grrl there with the smallest of titties. She seemed to be all nipple in her baby doll tee.

I also need to get a Hawaiian shirt. In April, E and I are going to a wedding in Las Vegas. One of my best friends is getting hitched for the second time. The invitation arrived Saturday, a Las Vegas postcard, and with it was a note which read "though not mandatory, it is requested you wear a Hawaiian shirt and khaki's."

Who can refuse such a request? At JCP we have just such a shirt, actually a couple such shirts, to choose from. There is a polo style in black, olive, or pink, and there is also a button down style. Both short sleeved. I cannot decide if E and I should get the same color/same style, or same color/different style, or different color/different style or if we should just have totally different shirts from different stores. How sugary sweet are we??

Oh, the reception will follow, brunch in the Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville restaurant downstairs, all of which is housed within the Flamingo Hilton.

I. Can't. Wait.

Busy day today. First a shower, then off to Old Towne Kolaches for a kolache (something of a no-brainer there), the a swing into Starbucks for a Chai Tea Latte, then the bank to cash a check, then to my women's group which commences precisely at 10.

Once I get home, our nephew will be here, Bobby just turned three, and we are meeting some friends at a restaurant they recommend for an afternoon desert extravaganza. Deserts only, no other foods need apply.

Last night we went to Chuy's for dinner and I had some delicious enchiladas and then we went on to Slick Willie's to shoot some pool. There was a dancing white boy who was a table or two away who was rather entertaining. As it turned out, we ended up at the bar cashing out at the same time, and I gave his startled young self an education on the word fuck. He actually though it likely that he ised the word more than I do.

Hah!!

Anyway, at one point he said something along the lines of clarifying that it is mainly used as a noun or adjective, and E said something funny to that clarifying that no, it takes every position, verb too. He said you mean like doing it, and I said absolutely, at our house, daily for a minimum. He knew at that point his battle was lost.

Another victory to queenmaxine!!!

What a dreary day it was today. In fact, yesterday was somewhat dreary too. Not much will rate after your girlfrind tells you she wants to fly you and a couple of friends to Boston to get married, and then take you on a honeymoon to London for a few days then chunnel over to Paris for a few days before returning to London to fly home. She must be in love.

I have been such a blog slacker. For valentine's I bought E a very small box of Godiva. Very. Small. and some moisturizer from Origins so she would not totally consume mine. We went to Cafe Artiste for breakfast, and then to Soundwaves where we bought the following CDs:

Ani diFranco Educated Guess
Edie Brickell Volcano
Norah Jones Feels Like Home
Steve Miller Band Greatest Hits 1974-78
Melissa Etheridge Lucky
and some other CD out in the car that is escaping me.

We then went to dinner with two other lesbo couples and one's daughter at Royal Japan. It is a new Japanese steakhouse and it was pretty good, 7 chicks sitting at the hibachigrille table. Our chef was George and he got the job done nicely with some flying flames and knives.

I had the Philadelphia roll and a scallop dinner. The scallop portion was pretty considerable and tres yummy. I think we might be going back sometime soon. And perhaps, I might go back sooner than soon for another seving of the Philadelphia roll. Liked it that much, yes I did.

So, yes. I did go to Cafe Artiste this morning and I sat there writing for nearly three hours. There was a new counter person and while he was friendly enough in his own way, he was also a somewhat self possessed sexist charmer. I could only think of how my oldest son seems to view himself as a charmer and something of a romeo, but in reality his sugar sweet charms are sexist and much too over the top to be considered genuine. Ok, cut the kid (my 19 year old) some slack, I agree as he is young. The cafe dude, however, was easily 35 or better, and had no such excuse. Of course I am glad, after witnessing him go outside to meet and pet some hot chick's dog then stick his hands in his pockets then return behind the counter all without stopping to wash his hands, that he is a counter person and not a kitchen person. Little difference and still unsanitary.

Anyway, I was there working away. I took a minute to sit and see if anything new was begging release, and when my food arrived and I still typed nothing, I decided to transcribe some Awakening notes I have been jotting down instead. Made me want to get it done and have some closure on the piece. Sometimes that is difficult when it is something I am writing more for myself or for a sense of documentation rather than for a deadline or something more tangible.

I left there near one and then went to my nail salon to get my nails redone. They look fabulous and feel very good. There is a new lightness to them as the acrylic is but a thin veneer overlaying my natural nails. Nothing at all bulky.

The weather is still rather dreary today, and there is not much else going on.

Ho.
Hum.

What a fabulous day it is to stay in bed and hibernate. Too bad I cannot do that. It is dreary, rainy bleh outside. Just the type of day to stay in bed or curl up on the couch and watch movies all day. I had to scoop poor little Nola out of bed and put her outside to do her business because she hates going out in the rain. I absolutely agree with her.

Of course, tomorrow if it is raining, I am still going out in the morning to the cafe to sit with my laptop. Hopefully iy will be productive. If not, it will still be pleasant me time.

I picked up a few more books last week. I went to the Half Price Books location out by my job. The store is excellently zoned so that books are where they are actually supposed to be. And in good order for the most part. I have learned that most of the lesbian books are funnelled to the Montrose (gay Houston) location, and usually it is the only one I go to anymore, but I did manage to pick up a couple of lesbian fiction titles, so I will check this one out on occasion. I have been reading a lot at work, going back and forth between lesbian fiction and something Buddhist, so I also found three Buddhist titles of interest to me.

I suppose it is time to get my ass in gear for work. I have to leave a bit early to stop at the post office to get a Valentine's package off to my son. M&Ms and more M&Ms.

Went to see Margaret Cho last night and she was so funny. Even more amusing at times was this group of men who can best be described as bubba or republican perhaps, who just were not amused. She was also very thin, and seemed taller that I thought she would be. I would estimate maybe a size 8. Perhapd even smaller if I am wrong about her height. I think she could have gone out to any number of bars in Houston and been unrecognized unless someone had been to her show.

Yesterday was a busy day. I was up and out of the house early having to do a house call for one of my clients. I was at their home at 930, Starbucks in hand. Then after than I went to lunch with my friend Lori and we sat and talked until about 3. After that I had planned a nap, but not taken one, Instead I went to the store to gather some groceries for dinner. I then cooked burgers and fries and some fresh spinach for E, and then we got ready to go to the show.

We were home about 1130 and it made for a long, filled day. I checked my email and went to sleep by midnight, and actually slept well, quite the anomaly these days.

Today I am going in to work 12-3 for one of my clients and then it will be over to B and I's for some pool shooting and haircuts for them. Then home by 7ish to snuggle in for Alias, which might not be on, and the L Word.

Tomorrow is back to work...blahx3.

I spoke to my dad yesterday and he told me my eldest got a tattoo, no surprise there, and wears dog chains, equally unsurprised. I already know of the nose piercing, and of course I know his mentality of goth boy wannabe. I have to say, I am really glad he is in upstate NY with his dad, and not here with me.

My mom then called in the early evening and she told me they were going to try to hook up with my youngest in VA this morning for breakfast. He is 13 and Mr. social on the weekends, so I told her if she can get a hold of him, all she needs to do is say the words "meet at Golden Corral for breakfast" and "bring your friend you are visiting" and he will be there in a flash. I told her, too, that even without the enticements he would want to see her, so hopefully she will get him on the phone. If not perhaps on her way back through she can give him more notice. She and 2 of her sisters are on the way to Florida for a few weeks.

E just took a picture to inspire a new painting, "naked girl on the bed with laptop and dog. It will be brilliant!!

Where do the days go? I realize there seems to be some sort of theme around that question, but I just posted what seems like yesterday, but was really Thursday, and here it is nearly Sunday. I just don't get it. I think that it might be time to let the purging begin.

I am feeling a major purge coming on. I cannot decide if I should just go room to room and start with the easy material crap, which seems the most logical course. Or, perhaps I should begin with purging thngs that are a time suck. I suppose refining my schedule was an important step, and where I like working just 4 days a week, and I like not working any weekend time (with the occasional Sunday exception for those clients on the AA list), I really detest the 11 hour Monday. It is a small sacrifice though to not work Sundays.

The next thing might be to get into a regular habit of cafe writing on Wednesday morninga, whenever morning might be in accordance with when I wake up. That is a definite me time thing and I think that rather than invite E to join me, I will let her know that it is what I am doing, and that if she would like to join me, she can call me as she is leaving work on Wednesdays to see where I am. As soon as the weather breaks a little, I might take to going to Galveston again on those days.

Another order of business is to get a small bedside lamp so I can relegate this humongous one to the garage. Just. Don't. Like it. It is an old lamp that was E's geandmother's or someone's, and it is not a bad lamp, but it is sitting here bedside and it is big and shadeless, so when I am awake and working late at night it is just a bit too much. We have a small clip on light out at the computer that clips onto the bookshelf behind it that I think might work in here so I might try it to see and then go to Ikea to get another one. I think it was only $9.99.

The weekend is already pretty full as I sort of overbooked myself a little. I have a home client Saturday morning at 9:30, if that was not crazy enough, I went and made a date with a friend for lunch at 12:30, and then E and I will be doing the Margaret Cho thing Saturday night at 9 at the Improv. Then on Sunday, I had told Band I that we would come over and shoot pool and cut hair around 12 or so, but I discovered today that I have a 12 o'clock client at work on Sunday, so I will do that then go to B and I's house around 4, maybe just cut their hair, maybe stay and shoot pool, depending on what else their day allows since I fucked up on the scheduling. Then of course, as it is Sunday I will be home before 8 pm so we can watch Alias and the L Word, the new must see tv.

That leaves little other run around time this weekend. If I am up early Sunday, perhaps breakfast somewhere, but perhaps that is just a tad ambitious.

Bookshelves need finishing.

Molding needs to be installed.

Bathroom needs finishing.

Bedroom needs refining and finishing.

Grouting needs doing.

We need to buy a new bed.

Closet needs painting.

Budget needs revising (sigh, again) as my unemployment runs out soon which will be like a huge pay cut. Ouch that's a big one.

All those things need to be purged off my to-do list...

No wonder I am getting lousy sleep.

Oh, and let us not forget I need to work out some sort of yoga schedule for myself as well as get back to walking my pooch daily as I was for so long, and getting some use of the bike I bought a few months back. At least E is using it so it was not a wasted $50.

Usually, I have great stretches of getting little sleep, an average 4-5 hours a night, which are broken up with a week here and there of 7 hours, then back to 4-5. It is a cycle I have been in for a couple of years, and I can say it works well enough for me. The sleep I get is good sleep and it is just my body's natural rhythm.

Lately, the sleep I do get, 4-5 hours, is really crappy.

ugh.

Last night I heard that Margaret Cho is going to be at a newly redone Improv just down the road a bit. We will be going on Saturday night to see her. Should be a pretty good show.

Seems to be a waning sense of purpose vibe going on around me lately. Nothing gloom and doom, just feeling a little sluggish on the path sort of thing. I have been cleaning like a maniac the last hour or so and that usually means something. Just not sure if it means anything today beyond being tired of looking at the dusty floors. Oh, the joys of beng carpet free.

Break time's over.

ps...went to see Japanese Story last night and I cannot wait for it to go to video. Most excellent story and it made both E and me cry. Support independent film and go see it!!

blah...blah...

blah...


I decided this morning that I would wait and return to yoga for the next session. Since xmas, it has been just one piddly thing after another preventing my return, so perhaps with the added time I can get a feel of having it all together. Certainly, this has been somewhat lacking lately.Maybe too, I can figure out why I have just been sleeping poorly.